Jun
29
2009
Secret 25…I’m a champion tantrumer
Oh I was a HORROR as a child. Feisty, angry, bossy, aggressive (scratching other children was a favoured pastime) and moody. What a delight I must have been! Add in a temper as quick thing from quick land and it was a heady mix. But way worse than any of that was my penchant for throwing monstrous tantrums, often several times a day, for up to an hour at a time. And that went on for years.
My mother, who must be nearing Sainthood by now surely, used to call it ‘having a paddy’ or, more often, ‘throwing a wobber’. “Spud is throwing a wobbler again” she would say, pointing with resignation to the seething mass of chub on the floor – screaming like a banshee, puce in the face, body rigid with fury and arms and legs flailing up and down like paddles. When I go to my Pilates class and attempt ‘full Pilates swimming’ (lying on the floor, arms and legs outstretched and moving opposite legs/arms up and down a few inches) it feels like a graceful version of ‘throwing a wobbler’ and I often take a moment to consider what it would be like if 20 grown women spontaneously moved on from ‘full Pilates swimming ‘ to ‘full on throwing a wobbler’. I think we’d all feel very cleansed, don’t you? Although the instructor might feel a little alarmed.
My favoured response to anything that didn’t please me was to ‘throw a wobbler’ but my other party trick was to take a gigantic, audible breath and then hold my breath for as long as I could, meanwhile going purple in the face while my mother begged me to breathe. Eventually I would have to breathe, of course, at which point I would launch in to high pitched wailing accompanied by running on the spot with my arms pumping the air at the same time. That was called ‘having a paddy’. Sometimes, just to mix things up, I would start the show by ‘having a paddy’ and finish up by hurling myself to the floor and ‘throwing a wobbler’.
Outtake shot...NB purple sparkly eyeshadow used as face paint
After a few years of this tension was running high Chez Spud, as you might imagine. But a quick trip to a motorway service station on the M6 put a stop to it, more or less. I went in to the shop with my father and demanded a Cadbury’s Chocolate Machine. Dad refused (what was the MATTER with him? Had he not learnt by now just to give in and let me have my own way?). I pushed a bit harder, he stood firm and refused to buy it. So I retaliated with a ‘warm up’ paddy as a kind of warning that the full monty was on its way. Naturally, the show drew quite a crowd and my Dad finally flipped…he had Had Enough. So he rolled up the newspaper he had in his hand, and walloped me round the back of my legs. I went flying. He gasped, the crowd gasped…there was silence…I considered my options. I can remember this moment in time so vividly, I was SO shocked as my parents never, ever hit me. I decided it was game over. And that was the end of the tantrums, I never did it again (well apart from one in 2005 when I was 34, but I’d shrunk my favourite T shirt in the tumble dryer so I really think that was justified?).
My Dad and I laugh about it now, but at the time he was very shaken. It wasn’t against the law to smack children in those days (hell, he WAS the law…he was a policeman!) but certainly wasn’t in his nature to do so. Still, I’m sure he must feel there is a certain karma at work right now as Diggy LOVES to tantrum. He nearly always ‘throws a wobbler’, but any day now he might broaden his repertoire and ‘have a paddy’.
Diggy doing the 'wobbler warm up' - NB bottom lip, nice touch
Today Bertie tantrumed all the way around the supermarket, most unusual for him I must say. Not to be outdone, Diggy had a couple of turns too. I noticed they both piped down momentarily when I approached the newspaper stand though, wise move my boys, wise move….;-)
Bertie having a 'warm up' tantrum in the car this morning
The “wobbler warm-up” picture is divine! I suppose that you (and your children) have passionate natures!
Just wondering: did all of that childhood practice give you a leg-up, so to speak, on certain Pilates poses?
so that´s what a wobbler is…:). ok and your angry face scares me a little… have a peaceful week!:)
I can’t stop laughing at this!!! Your Dad taught you a lesson! I was a lovely little girl, but a horrible teenager! Oh, the drama!
Dammit. Never thought to hold my breath. That’s clearly where I went wrong.
That is so funny!! I actually have a 21 yr old that had a paddy this weekend…in front of my best friend from high school that I hadn’t seen in 20 yrs. That was nice…I sure wish I had a rolled up newspaper for that one.
Of course, it was over filet mignon…maybe I’d have thrown a wabbler too…
Oh Spud… your poor mother… I hope you tell her how much you love her EVERY DAY!
As far as you dad and the newspaper…. well we never had tantrums when growing up…cuz we knew what mom was capable of doing oh boy… we did get a beating or two… and hey we turned out ok… but I’ve never needed to resort to it with my kids… I used to just walk away. Once we were in a toy store picking up a gift and I told the boys no toys for them today… but hey who are we kiddin… kids in a toy store…what I did as soon as the BOTH started?? Rolled the cart right out of the store and went right home…. when they were “good” I took them back and got little stuff for them… it never happened again…
say what you mean… and do it… it works all the time
enjoyed this post
oh and forgot to mention how I loved your first photo and the whole pilates class throwing one… that would be priceless
Only 5 to go???? How time flies… happy to hear u had fun this weekend, me too!
Oh Lord… i did the same thing, I remember pulling apart a little felt cat that my sister had made me and throwing it down the stairs because I didn’t get my way. My five year old is a great wobbler thrower, she slaps her feet on the wood floor and slams her bedroom door. Then she screams but not just wailing.. she screams stuff like, “it’s not fair” and “I’m not speaking to anyone” and “I’ll stay here all day”. It’s hilarious to listen to!!
For the record, I was a DREAM teenager! Just as well, my parents were exhausted by then.
Ali – my 3 year old, the non tantrumer, huffs around going “huh, it’s not FAIR, I am NOT happy with you…huh…HONESTLY”. etc. It’s hysterical.
I might attempt a group ‘wobbler’ one week at Pilates, oh what fun!
Thanks for all the comments as always. x
Oh I love the outtake shot! Brilliant!
I was a very compliant child…probably accounts for the year I spent in therapy as a young adult. Learned early to stop crying or get something to cry about! You brought back a memory of my one fit after seeing Disney’s PeterPan in the movie theater. Must have been 4ish. I didn’t want to leave, I wanted to see it again. It was my first time at a theater and I knew it was my destiny! Sigh…I think my poor grandmother was shocked, but didn’t have to resort to violence, I was light enough to pick up and throw in the Cadi. The photos of the boys are absolutely gorgeous. What beautiful children you have. I’m sure you count yourself blessed and your sense of humor has got to come in handy. So glad you’re back sharing secrets today.
I also have one tantrumer and a non-tantrumer. The non-tantrumer, my daughter, was always a really easy baby and toddler. She is 7 now and can do the whole huffy, hysterical, life is not fair thing to perfection. But my second child? He is just 18 months and can tantrum, have a paddy, and throw a wobbler all at the same time. Scary stuff. My husband and I were all smug about our superiour parenting skills until our son came along – now we realise it is all just down to luck and personality and has very little to do with us. Husband is a bit nervous of what son will be like when he hits the two-year mark…but I’m sticking to my theory that he is just getting it all out of the way now! Love your blog.
1) I am in awe that you do pilates. I prefer plates, myself.
2) Spare the newspaper, spoil the child. Good one Dad. I prefer an old fashioned rolling pin myself.
3) What are the origins of “wobbler” and “paddy”?
4) “Maybe if your children were more orderly it wouldn’t be a problem”. It doesn’t fit, I know, but I couldn’t resist
PS: How did we each get those cute icons next to our name? Did you create them? They look like tiny patchwork quilts.
Liz…waaaah at number 4! I am soooo going to delete that comment on my photo. Flickr not nice. BloggyWorld, nice.
Icons, excellent question. Well, anyone who has signed up for a gravatar account will have their photo displayed next to their post. Do it here http://en.gravatar.com/
But if you’ve not signed up, then it takes your email address and turns it in to a random picture ‘based on’ your email addy. Yeah right.
Anyway, people GET A GRAVATAR so we can see your pretty faces!!
Redhead! Just had a lovely read of your blog, so glad you commented here as I really enjoyed it. Will comment later. Yes, it’s SO not fair when it turns out this parenting lark has pretty much nothing to do with our superlative skills and pretty much everything to do with nature. I hate that….!
Um, Diggy started his tantrums at 18mths. So that’s nearly a year ago, no sign of letting up…
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