Chez Spud

Secret 14…I can’t say the word ‘burglar’

Posted under 30 Secrets in 30 Days

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Waaaah! I thought I was going to suffocate during this very hasty photoshoot today…either from laughing so much or the stocking over my head restricting my breathing. I must have a big fat head as it was such a struggle to get the stocking over it.

Cabbage Patch Robber Spud

Cabbage Patch Robber Spud

I think this the ugliest photo of me I’ve ever seen. It would be even worse if it were in focus – question, how DO you get self-portraits in focus? Please can someone tell me, otherwise there are another 15 fuzzy self-portraits coming your way as I zoom towards the end of the 30 secrets in 30 days project.

So, I can’t say the word ‘burglar’. It comes out as burgular. Every time. I just can’t say it right, unless I stop for a moment to get my head around it. Instead  I work around it by saying ‘robber’, which makes me sound like an 8 year old boy.

Alas ROBBERS have featured in my life too many times. I shared a house with 4 other girls at university and we were repeatedly broken in to, I think about 5 or 6 times in the end. Once they squatted and did unspeakable things on our carpets, another time they stole our washing machine and tea towels (having emptied the house of almost everything by that point). Seriously, tea towels.

Then MrSpud and I were ROBBED about 4 years ago. They carried off laptops and all my jewellry in a pillow case. And you know, I was absolutley furious about the pillow case…absolutely raging in fact as it was one of a pair. But,then, I was pregnant and bonkers at the time. My ‘loot bag’ in the picture is the one they didn’t take. Still makes me seethe when I see it.

Do you like my jaunty top knot on the top of my big fat ugly head? A burgular with style, that’s me that is.

Tell me what words you can’t say, or couldn’t say as a child, or what your child can’t say! Tell me something to take my mind of that ugly old snap of me…looking like a big bloke called Len.

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26 Responses to “Secret 14…I can’t say the word ‘burglar’”

  1. Oh my goodness, Spud, I think I’m going to die laughing. That photo is the funniest thing I have seen in my life…I can honestly hardly type for laughing…

  2. Liz, I know…it’s a rare moment when I’m laughing AT myself as well as with myself. I can’t stop giggling at that photo…!

  3. It looks like you have cut and pasted your flat head!!! You are out of your mind bloke called Len!!!! get rid of the pillowcase it’s full of bad kharma.
    this has definitely brightened my day!!!!

  4. Waaaahhhh! That is SOOOO funny. Seriously, tenna-lady funny!

    I remember you being robbed 4 years ago, (and vague memories of you crying on the bus after some woman was rude to you and your 8.5 month bump?) I was so upset for you.

    In a similar vein, I couldn’t say thief until I was about 13. I used to say fieth. And I coudn’t understand what people were talking about when they said I was wrong.

    Lizzie should tell us what she can’t say though. Mamas and Papas, anyone? ;-)

  5. Eliza, yeah I know…I think Lizzie should come and regale us with the Mamas & Papas tale ;-) Oh I’d forgotten about that rude moo on the bus ‘SIGH what IS it with pregnant women, so up themselves’ or something. Probably right, but sheesh.

  6. I can’t say ‘courier’. And especially not ‘couriering’. Office mates have had plenty of laughs at me on the phone trying to say ‘I’ll be couriuriurieering .. um … sending it to you soon’.
    Burglar unfortunately is part of our daily-speak so I’m quite good at that, but ironically even here in SA I’ve not been burgled nearly as much as you! Sorry!

  7. i called music “mingie” which should speak to you since you cheated at studied music. :-)

    sabin called hippopotamus “hillaponsa” i still love that word.

    and i really hate to say homogenized. not sure why, just have always been a bit baffled by it.

  8. bastard wordpress template didn’t take my HTML!!! i tried to strike out the “cheated at” bit above (just so it makes more sense). :-)

  9. i really wanna see the bad picture, but it won’t load for me. :-( rat bastards of the internet….

  10. dang, that was two swearings on your blog. sorry about that.

  11. Julie…I hope those rat bastards get their act together because you HAVE to see the picture!!!! I may have to make a “you’re nuts” award and send it to the Spud. LOL. Ali.

  12. i saw the picture on flickr. it still won’t load here. but i’m trying not to swear about it anymore. kinda relieved ali swore now too. :-)

  13. Giggle, for the stroppy Blogger Misses who need to See It Large….

    http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3313/3631657611_96e816b5eb_b.jpg

    Does that work? Or just go to my flickr site and laugh your arse off there. Seriouly, can’t stop laughing here.

    Also, it turns out MrSpud can’t say burglar either. He says burgliar. Bless. So, robbers it is then.

  14. By the way PMSL at mingie and couriereireing and hillaponsa. The latter so charming!

    Bertie says ‘ife’ for ‘knife’…because that’s how it sounds when you say ‘an ife’ (in his head). I don’t correct him, I love it!

    Diggy hath a lipth. So Hans Christian Anderson (his total favourite) is ‘Mummy, i want wath hanth chriththon anderthon’….waaay!

  15. a. i love the project
    b. i, too, have been “burgulered” many times!
    c. the photo looks like it’s in focus

    30 secrets in 30 days…so ambitious!

  16. okay, so i saw it upclose…and it is slightly blurry, but i think that really is how it should be– you are, after all, running from the scene of the crime!

  17. I love your blog. You totally crack me up! I can’t believe you were robbed though. How horrible. This SP is the best ever!! lol

  18. Peeing myself. When I realized that what I was looking at was a real photograph of your squashed face and NOT a cutout drawing I burst out laughing, quite loudly.

    Don’t feel bad. We used to have a president that pronounced nuclear as nuculer. But he was an idiot so I guess that doesn’t count.

  19. OMG simply the funniest picture I have ever seen of you!

  20. Love the picture! When we were burgled a few years ago it was the pillowcase (also one of a pair) that really wound me up too for some unknown reason. I think I ended up binning the other one.

  21. Hi Clare … just had a peak at your blog, am heading over later for a good nose! I know, I should just chuck the remaining one as it winds me up so much when I see it. I think I can’t bear to think about all the lovely jewellry I lost, some of it family stuff with huge sentimental never mind financial value. So I focus on the ‘non personal’ bit!!

  22. That is true…the guy was an utter twonk (yes it’s a word…no, I didn’t make it up..much). It really looks like a cut-out face doesn’t it? I still can’t stop looking at it and laughing!

  23. I love reading your blog. You’re so cool…

    I had a crazy uncle that would come and pick me up when i was little and take me to the Seafood Festival. Either I had trouble saying festival or thought it was an entirely different word, but I would say seafood vegtival. He got the biggest kick out of that and still reminds me about that to this day. I also couldn’t say napkin…i said nakin.

  24. I don’t remember my own, but my nephew called animals “amelos”. That was pretty cute. Also, my daughter can’t say buzz and says “buth”.

  25. [...] deters others from circumventing your efforts to make your images downloadable. But a very evil robber may attempt to work around a watermark in Photoshop or some such. It’s not foolproof [...]

  26. [...] that whole ‘I can’t say the word burglar‘ secret. Or [...]

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