Secret 15…Deep down, I think I’m a better driver than most people on the planet
Posted under 30 Secrets in 30 Days
I know, I know…EVERYONE thinks they are a good driver. But, really, I am. I read the road, I anticipate, I even know the width of my vehicle. In short, I rock.
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
The only person I could ‘possibly’ concede is better than me is my Dad. But then I passed my driving test first time, but he didn’t (despite going on to pass his advanced driving test, the police driving test, the HGV driving test…you get the picture). But then, as we all know, passing your test the first time is a sign of natural driving genius. So perhaps I’m better than my Dad too?
Dad of Spud...quite a good driver..for an old bloke
I’m definitely better than MrSpud who drives at Old Man Slow speed everywhere, and looks out of the window when he gets bored (meanwhile somewhat veering towards oncoming cars). I should probably just do all the driving but then I wouldn’t get to play my favourite sport of ‘Sniping at MrSpud’s Driving’.
He once had a very very expensive ‘little prang’ while in a queue of traffic crawling along at about 2 miles an hour. Apparently he was ‘thinking happy thoughts’ (sic or should that be sick?) and drove in to the car in front of him for no good reason. Naturally, this being MrSpud, who is not the most organised of people, his car insurance had run out without him realising. These days such an event would have me rolling my eyes and shouting ‘Oh HONESTLY you are SO annoying’. But this was right after we first met, and the ‘happy thoughts’ were about me. So I let it go…ah, young love.
Now my parking, I will admit, is less than good. While attempting to parallel park the other day and huffing and puffing and making a right old dog’s dinner of it a little voice pipes up from the back “Mummy, the problem is that you’re not getting it right. You’re not getting the car in the right place. You’re getting it all wrong… AGAIN!” So my 3 year old is already sniping at my driving. He learnt it at his mother’s knee.
I prefer this photo to yesterday’s terrifying bloke called Len shot. Plus, I just noticed, it’s demonstrating three previous secrets: my strange arms, my chunky ankles and wonky teeth. Bonus points!
I spit my latte out all over myself when I read the comment your 3 year old made. That is HILARIOUS. The things that come out of children’s mouths. That is going to make me chuckle out loud all day and make my coworkers think I am even more of a lunatic than they already think I am (and actually am)
VEG told me i would spit, so i made sure i had none of the precious organic italian white which they bring to my door in a crate of 6 for a small fee every friday.
several questions arise…
1) does your dad have the same strange tooth thing?
2) your costume didn’t come, did it?
3) you can’t actually parallel park when you’re driving from the wrong side of the car. ;-)
had to get that last one in…you know, they used to drive on your side of the road in sweden until the ’70s. a guy telling me about the switch said to me, “they switched to the other side all in one go…”
hmm…how would you have imagined it…trucks on tuesday, cars on wednesday…you get the picture.
dang, i feel pressure to be funny here in the comments.
Would it totally gross you out if I tell you your Dad is kind of a hottie?
Your 3-year old is great! haha…I love that lil car you’re riding!!
Waaaaah!!! Erm, I’m used to people thinking my Dad is handsome but I’m not sure anyone used the word ‘hottie’ before. Giggle. You’re so funny..
Right Julie….mmmmmm organic white wine booze, delivered? How very civilised, I need to get me some of that…
1. No, Dad’s teeth are ‘normal’ although his arms are a little bonkers like mine.
2. No, no costume and SCREAM it’s not come today either. Sob. Pressure is on for tomorrow as it’s a Mummy Day and self-portraits with props etc with the boys around is a disaster.
3. Boom boom, the old ones are the best ;-) xx
That’s hilarious re Sweden. What if you’d gone on holiday and came back and thought the world had turned upside down. Utter chaos.
VEG – sorry for the spitting! I was spitting at the time too, but mostly with rage….;-)
I was thinking the same thing as HRH TFM. I even scrolled down and then back up to take another look. NOT that I didn’t get a good laugh at that photo of you on the tiny car. I must say I am a good driver too. Maybe not as good as you, but still…