Chez Spud

Inspired by Janet of Are We There Yet? [random fact...I share a birthday with her] I’ve hitched a ride on the Postcrossing bandwagon…because who doesn’t like getting lovely things in the post? Chuck in the frisson of excitement of lovely things in the post from total strangers and you can see why the bandwagon is looking a little crowded these days.

I’m pretending to do it for my boys, using each card as a learning opportunity about new places, new people, different cultures and the like. A globe has been purchased and a system for displaying and then filing the postcards has been established. As things progress I will likely create an appropriate taxonomy for the cards but I’m way ahead of myself as…um…I haven’t actually received any yet.

But I will do, and any day now. I’ve briefed Postman Andy not to be afraid of me pouncing on him again each day, eager to inspect his wares. He’s not yet recovered from the 30 Secrets project and wild accusations of wig stealing…but I digress.

Not content with just picking up a few postcards of our local town for the project, I have had some of my photos made in to postcards by the wonderful people at Moo.  Chuck in some Moo Stickers to decorate said cards with and I’m good to go. These aren’t just postcards…they’re works of art. Preens preens..ra ra ra…

So I dragged my boys in to town today to send postcards to Finland and the USA. Whilst there I remembered that, outside the library, is a funny little French postbox which seems completely out of place given that we live in, er, Britain. So we investigated as I thought it would be a fitting departure lounge for my  finely crafted and exquisite works of art postcards. Well, I investigated…the boys did this until they got dizzy and fell over…

I hadn’t misremembered…right next to the ‘real’ postbox is this French one, a gift to the town from its ‘twin town’ in France in 1991. A little odd…couldn’t they have sent a lifetime’s supply of some cheeky little red for everyone or something? It’s on the shabbier side of shabby chic, don’t you think? Look at the fine, British post box…brave, tall and RED…long live the Queen etc etc….then compare and contrast with the French number…1-0 to les rosbifs I think…

Let’s look a bit closer shall we? Well, it’s kind of pretty and ornate…and rather quaint actually. ‘Saturday’s collection has been done’ it says…good to know. But, no, wait! It’s Friday today…that’s a bit worrying. What the hell has Postman Andy been doing since last Saturday? Wearing my bloody wig I bet. Suddenly, the French option is looking less appealing. Worse, look at this sign next to it…

Now this is a real worry…so there’s one collection a day, not ideal but this is the country afterall…they only collect for a couple of months of the year, hmmm now that’s quite slack…but even more worrying…collections are only made Monday to Friday. WHAT? Scroll up…the box says it was last emptied on Saturday. BUT THEY DON’T COLLECT ON A SATURDAY! WTF… is this  some kind of joke and, if so, who is the joke on? And who’s going to have the last laugh? I bet that box is stuffed full of postcards from 1991 and it’s never once been emptied…Postman Andy, I’m on to you…be afraid.

But, seriously, who thought this was a good idea? Apart from mentalists like me, who would choose to post their labouriously scribbled postcards in a dodgy looking ‘pretend’ mailbox when one of Her Royal Maj’s real deal boxes is standing right next to it? I’ll bet it was one of ‘those’ local council meetings when that phoney ‘postbox’ arrived…they must have all sat round puzzling at it, going “Merde! Zut alors! What are we going to do with ‘that’…it’s embarrassing”. Then someone piped up, “I know, I know…shove it on the wall round the back of the library where no one really goes anyway but put it next to a real postbox…then add some confusing information about ‘collections’…and tell Postman Andy not to bother collecting from it anyway. Actually, scratch that…let’s just chuck the key away and be done with it. No one will ever know. Now, shall we have a nice cup of tea and some biscuits?”

For myself? I voted with my feet…I chose British…Rule Britannia! And all who sail in her…

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