Treasure 5…A Letter from my Grandmother
Posted under People I love, Ten Treasures
So treasure 5, a letter from my maternal grandmother sent to me when I was 17.
She was a difficult person, hard to love and often hard to like if I’m honest. Life wasn’t kind to her, she lost her mother young, her husband young, her twin boys died in infancy and then my mother late in her life. She was brave and strong, and I admired her for that…but life had soured her, and she often lashed out at those she was closest to when they didn’t live up to her exacting standards.
She wrote this letter to me on the occasion of my paralysing disappointment at not being made Head Girl at school, having been told that I would. In fact my closest friend got the job and all hell broke loose Chez Spud. LOL…it all seems to utterly ridiculous and pointless now but at the time it was a Whole Big Thing. Her letter, whilst touching on The Crime, is more of a passing on of worldly wisdom from a woman later in life to one just turning from a girl to a young woman.
Her words are very eloquent and still speak to me with great clarity, and bring a tear to my eye. The PS always makes me laugh, I guess she put some money in with the letter. After my mother died she religiously wrote to me every week, enclosing £10.00 despite the fact I was in my early 30s, working in the City and earning good money. I irritated her one too many times by not replying and, having rung me at work to shriek at me, she cut me down to £5.00 a week. Point made and heard, loud and clear.
Dear Spud,
So you didn’t get to be head-girl. You are disappointed; of course you are and it’s painful. But the butterfly of youth takes you in and out of the shade quickly, so tomorrow it won’t seem as bad. Seeing it in the right light you are the better girl, and that is what matters. Knowing that it wasn’t a right decision means you are not to fret. This is your grandmother talking to you! You are on the threshold of becoming a young woman, and now you start to weigh things up and see them as they really are. Not always nice are they? So learn early Spud, be like the Yorkshire man ‘see all, hear all and say nowt’. It’s not a bad maxim with regard to a lot of things and people.
Your headmaster is a poor specimen of how not to do things. If we get a reason for why things are decided we understand, not always happy about why thus decided. But not treated with very little regard. So now, Spud, say to yourself, ‘I am Spudballoo and I’m going make my name matter’ and you will. And it will be something more important than being head-girl.
So let x have the plum, but she also has the stone. So be happy and I mean be happy with the other girls for the rest of your time at school, but don’t be used. They have given x the job, let her do it.
And count your blessings Spud. You have a Mum and Dad who have come with you so far and it can’t have been easy for them. They love you, so you must keep that always in mind. They love you, and so do we. You still have a tough time ahead, and you will make them very proud, if you work conscientiously at what you will be doing, not just the result.
It’s a beautiful world Spud and you are a lovely girl, so get you share of it, don’t let things that don’t really matter sour you. You are talented and that’s wonderful. Let your Mum and Dad know that you love them. They are your blessings. God keep you always in his care.
Your Grandmother
PS Treat yourself to a gooey bun. X
what a moving letter, really. “the butterfly of youth”, how true and how poetic. apparently life told her strict lessons – she sounded very wise. and her handriting is beautiful, steady and regular. a real treasure, i agree.
ps. reading your comment in my blog i imagined your lovely chanel shoes with those funny military-elegant purses!!!!!
That is so cute! I wish I had more treasures like that from my grandparents. My favorite is a painting that my grandma painted for me last Christmas. I cried when she gave it to me. That painting, like your letter, will always be special!
OK this is just too much! When you talk of difficult etc I think you’re talking about my mother! She does the same kind of thing, can be very wise and strong but it’s just hard sometimes to communicate.
I love this letter and I can totally see where you would cherish it, I was dissappointed because they wouldn’t even let me be a prefect my behaviour was so bad toward the end of my school years!!! bad me…
How lovely! What a great memory to have. The PS made me giggle a little, too.
What a beautiful treasure. Do you hear her voice every time you read it and feel her passion right through the pages? No wonder you are so good with words, it’s in the blood.
I wondered if she called you Spud and Spudballo or if you edited the letter for privacy. I like to think of you as having had this wonderful nickname since childhood. I think it would be fun having grown up with people who had a sense of humor and would dole out terms of endearment like Spud.
I used to call my girlie Pumpkin when she was a baby, but stopped. Maybe I’ll start again.
Hey Deb…Spudballoo was my family’s nickname for me, although only my parents used it. She put my real name in there, you can see it if you squint at the letter, but just doesn’t have the same ring as Spud!
x
wow, that’s amazing!! Love it! Such wisdom. Did you relaize that at the time?
Love it Spud! I had a grandmother who would write to me too, I remember always finding it so hard to write back, but I am glad now that I took the time, because like you I have letters that I have kept.
Loving your blog by the way
ox
Spud is a great name! So I tried out pumpkin on my daughter when she called this afternoon. She said she wasn’t surprised, she understands that I’m in a “zany mode”. We actually call each other darling daughter and darling mother. So we do have nicknames of a sort!
I am seriously touched by this whole post and your grandmother’s letter. Wow…what an GREAT treasure and I’m so glad you have hung on to it.
Ps. I laughed outloud when I read the ps. hehe
thanks for sharing this treasure. it´s full of wisdom that only a grandmother can give. mmmm i could go for a gooey bun right now… happy day!
So, do you respond to letters and gifts more promptly now? Did the five pound weekly loss teach you a lesson? Hmmmmm…. I can just hear my mother lecturing me about the importance of thank you notes. Her version was a little nicer than your Grandmother’s shriek, but still.
Speaking of thank you notes, I owe you a big one. Today is our first day back from vacation and the mail finally arrived. Imagine that! I had a lovely gifty waiting for me courtesy of the Royal Mail. I must say, nothing remotely royal has ever entered the Lawson house. Until today. You must imagine my excitement at receiving a Grudge Book of my own. Delighted, I tell you!
Thank you, dear Spud. Thank you.
[...] ya suckers, time does NOT heal grief. It ‘might’ heal preteen broken hearts and the devastating disappointment of not being made headgirl…but time does NOT heal grief. Can I just repeat that for those at the back of the class, not [...]