Aug
6
2009
Best intentions
I went out snapping last night. I had a very clear objective, I knew exactly what shot I wanted and where I was going to take it from. And the end result was going to look something like the shot above, which I took in December of last year. I had it all planned…kit checked, batteries charged, time of sunset ascertained. Tick tick tick.
So I bolted my dinner down and sped off to the location, a remote but wonderful pub on the estuary. Doesn’t come much better that this…here’s MrSpud striding off to get the beers in while I fiddle around with my camera as ever…you’ll need to look very closely as he’s very little…again taken last December…
I arrived and assumed the position…sought sustenance…and waited and watched…and watched and waited…
At this point the sunset was looking very promising; the sky was starting to go a little bit pink, lots of interesting horizontal bands of clouds scooting across the sky…a variety of boats out on the estuary. It was shaping up nicely for my mission; to shoot the sunset on 5 August, ideally on the coast. And I so badly wanted to get a fabulous shot, it was so important.
And then a big, ugly, thick band of cloud descended and just SAT across the horizon and didn’t budge. And the pinky sky didn’t really do much, there was a bit of gold but nothing remotely special. And there wasn’t one single thing I could do about it. I could have cried, the scene was so ‘meh’ when I so badly wanted it to dazzle…
This was the best I could offer
It’s quite eye catching, but it’s nothing out of the ordinary…and certainly not befitting the moment it was supposed the capture – sunset on the day baby Robin was born and died. His parents knew when he would be born, and that he sadly wouldn’t live long if at all. They asked for photos of sunrises, sunsets, coastal scenes or anything beautiful from that day as a collection of wonderful imagery for them to keep for the future. It was the very least any of us could do.
What do you say to someone in that position? A mother who knows she will labour and give birth to a child she won’t get to take home with her? I can’t begin to imagine the pain and torment of such a situation. The family were in my thoughts all day, and I wanted so badly to have a stunning image to give to them…just a tiny thing…not to ‘make them feel better’ but so they knew I was thinking of them. And all I managed was a very Joe Average shot.
Rather glumly I packed up my stuff and started the journey home, trundling up the track that leads from that remote place up to the road. I rounded a bend, and then it happened … one of those indescribable moments, so unexpected, so breathtaking and burnt forever in your memory…
The evening sky was deep, inky blue with just a whisper of a warm breeze blowing and a sliver of daylight left, with the warmth of the day still lingering. And there, seemingly out of nowhere and hanging low in the sky, was a magnificent moon…creamy white, one nugget off a full moon (which is tonight) but so close it hardly mattered….skimming the quivering fields of barley…all this framed between the silhouette of two, ancient trees, bent and blasted uniformly to the left, shaped by years of stiff winds whipping up off the estuary I suppose. Truly it was a stunning scene, I really can’t describe it and I certainly couldn’t photograph it. I attempted some lame shots but my heart wasn’t in it, even a great photographer couldn’t capture the whole ‘scene’ as the visual element was only one part of the whole effect.
So I will keep the memory of this extraordinary moment in time…the creamy moon in the inky blue sky framed by the blasted trees, as my personal testimony to baby Robin – imprinted in my mind if not on paper.
RIP Robin – too precious for this world xxx
Life is so unfair sometimes isn’t it. Your words brought a tear to my eye. Hugs. Robin is too, in my thoughts. x
oh you just made me cry. That is sad. But I have to say, I disagree. I love that photo. I think it is beautiful.
Beautiful words spud. Sleep well baby R x
I agree with Kristine: I think your “meh” photograph is very beautiful. But some beautiful things just can’t be captured by pictures. Sometimes, words are better. xx
p.s. I’ve just read two posts in a row that make me realize how rarely I notice the moon in England.
probably you spent much more time honouring baby robin BECAUSE of that (not so) nasty cloud… thank you for all those nice comments (and the olives). I was even considering to host a kind of blog-camp over here but I think I am too shy for such a party… and my bad English wouldn’t be of any help either. maybe a small blogeresses’-gathering between GB and IRL, one day.
Sometimes a memory of a scene is much more of a tribute than an actual photograph….
Although, both the mental picture you have created and the image of the sunset are both awesome in my mind.
I think the photograph and the writing are gorgeous. Peace to your friends and their sweet baby.
That is so sad, but so beautiful at the same time!
Oh, Spud,
The photograph is really beautiful….and the words even more so. The gift to Robin’s parents are the place in your heart they occupy….print and frame this blog post as your gift to them…..I promise, the post itself honors Robin.
S
very sad…tears in my eyes… RIP baby Robin… :(
I think your photo turned out very nice, don’t be so critical
The photograph is beautiful. I hope you give it to Robin’s parents. This sunset was a gift and though it wasn’t what you wished for. It was what God wanted. I bet they will know it is the perfect photo. What a lovely tribute (collecting photos of the day) to that tiny person.
Wow. that was a very moving post. I don’t know if Robins parents will be reading it or not, but I think it was much better than any photo. It was very poignant and heart-felt. You are so good.
xoxo
“even a great photographer couldn’t capture the whole ’scene’ as the visual element was only one part of the whole effect.” yes, that is right and yet a person of great humanity can capture the beauty of life and love and loss with words, intentions and offer it up to another human being. this is a wonder of a post and i cannot think of any photograph that could better convey your compassion and care.
XO
Such a sad, but beautiful story.
Your photo is fab & I would love to use it in the book for Robin’s mummy. x
this has me near in tears…as my sister is giving birth to a little girl today.
i think your seemingly plain jane photos is outstanding. The whispy clouds are beautiful.
Oh I feel so sad…my heart goes out. Your intention still is beautiful
I like the butterflies…
and wow, how amazing to have a built in web designer that you get to sleep with, too !
Ah Spud, I agree that the fact you went to such effort honours Robin more than any gorgeous photo could. My photo to mark his birth ended up meh, but I also have a mental imprint – one of a bright sun gloriously breaking through some black clouds. Sadly I was driving with no where to pull in – my OH’s attempts to snap it through the dirty windscreen just didn’t cut it :(
That said, I think your photo is beautiful.