Chez Spud

Archive for October, 2009

Plod Plod Plod..I think it’s a plodder

Posted under Uncategorized

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Plodding…that’s what it feels like we’re doing right now. We’ve had such awful news today, I can’t talk about it for now because it’s just too private and raw.  I know these things always come in cycles, but we seemed to have lurched from one awful situation to another in recent weeks. So much grief and pain, more than our hearts can bear.

People often say that God never gives us more than we can bear, and I guess that’s probably true. Although the more cynical version is ‘you get what you get and you either deal with it or you don’t’. This is all new territory for me…pain, grief and suffering I can do…other people’s pain, grief and suffering I’m less experienced in…but I have no experience of managing such situations for small children. It’s so ‘swampy’, there’s no true path, no right words and, oof, it’s lonely out there. SEND REINFORCEMENTS, WISE WOMEN AND CAKE xxx

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I’m not really here

Posted under Witterings

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You can see the words, but I’m not here. I’m actually away with the fairies….I met them down in the woods, frollicking under the toadstools and sprinkling fairy dust. So i joined their merry bande and tootled away to the stars with them.

Of course I’m talking crap. I’m not really here, I’m actually blogging in my head. I read all your comments and emails about secret blogging and I weighed up all the options. I’m still tempted by a secret blog as my chosen vehicle, but something about it alarms me a little bit. So while I get comfortable I’m blogging to myself..in..my…head. GENIUS! Chuck in the grudge book and I’m good to go.

On a more serious note, yet more gloomy news Chez Spud. I can’t talk about it here (so I’m talking about it to myself in my head), but someone is desperately ill with a brain injury and thousands of miles from home. Thoughts and prayers, thoughts and prayers xxx

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Secret Blogging

Posted under Witterings

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I love blogging. What’s not to like? You get to write about yourself, meet splendid folks who do you the favour of reading your witterings, you get to write when you want and what you want and, through writing, you often get to sift through issues and problems and even get advice, help and support along the way too. It’s a win win WINNER.

But there’s a flaw. The problem is that, well, people are reading. And sometimes that means you can’t really say what you want to at all…can’t talk about work, can’t talk about family, can’t talk about feelings (if you’re British like me…because feelings are against the law in the UK. Little known fact…). So what do you do when you can’t blog it out?

I’m not a paper journal keeper, which would be a good solution. Recently a friend told me about writing letters to yourself as a record of developing situations, which you post to yourself and then file (unopened) so that you have a dated, postmarked record of the situation should you wish to go back to it for a contemporary account of events. A bit like a time capsule I guess, but a wordy one. What a great concept, I love it.

But then I know some of you blog in private, and I’m wondering about that. Does it feel odd? Do you write differently, in terms of style, than you do for your public posts? Do you put photos in? Tell me, I want to know!

I’ve begun to realise the value of ‘old blog material’ is, in terms of revisiting the past. And I’m thinking about recording the things happening in our lives which I’m not allowed to blog about publicly. But I feel a bit self-conscious about it. Which is daft as, erm, I’m the only one who will read it. Oh and MrSpud since he has my wordpress admin details, but that’s ok.

So, Secret Blogging. Who does it?  Tell us…

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A Year in Photographs

Posted under Photography

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A quick post to mark a full year of my Photo A Day project. Actually I’m a few days past the ‘real’ anniversary, but today’s photo works better as an anniversary shot since it mirrors this shot:

…which I took a year ago, nearly to the day…same tree (in the field at the bottom of our garden), same time of day even, same camera. In fact, the shot above was my first ever shot taken with a Big Camera. I had to get MrSpud to turn it on for me, bless. Little did he know I about to be bitten by the photography bug, and he’d never get his camera back.

I’ve taken about a million photos in the last year, some good, most average and some truly dreadful. I’ve learnt to use the Big Camera properly and how to edit a little bit. I started a camera club on here, and made a bunch of new friends. I LOVE PHOTOGRAPHY. And here is why:

  • it slows down time, and forces you to see the world around you with new eyes
  • it encourages you to go to places you’ve never been before
  • it’s a friendly hobby, pretty much everyone is a snapper at some level or other
  • it gives us a wonderful record of our lives and, especially, our boys growing up
  • it’s a Martini hobby…any time, any place, anywhere
  • you can spend as much or as little time as you like on it
  • it doesn’t ‘have’ to be hugely expensive (MrSpud nods vigorously)
  • it’s art without the mess
  • it gives me something to do every day, just for me, no one else
  • it gives a lot of pleasure to family and friends…taking photos for them…looking at your shots
  • it brings a blog to life

Things I’m not so keen on about photography

  • Lugging the stuff around. No way around that really. I use my iphone camera alot, but often I kick myself for not having dragged The Beast out with me. In the early days I took the DSLR absolutely everywhere.
  • Importing/sorting/tagging/uploading/backing up photos. Snore.
  • Remembering to charge batteries

Overall, photography is a WINNER for me…I’ve loved learning and experimenting, and love having such a visual record of my ‘journey’. The last year of our lives has been so pivotal and so amazing, I’m thrilled to have a photojournal of our days. I’m not sure if I’ll continue with the 365 project in 2011, probably not as I want to spend time on other things. But it’s been a fantastic year in photographs.

Indulge me. Check out my photo for today here . I really love this photo. I couldn’t have taken it a year ago.

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Making the ordinary extraordinaire…bien sur…

Posted under Paris, Photography

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Just following up on yesterday’s strange post about quilts of MIA and dead people (you’ll have to read it to get it)…a number of you asked what the photo was that I used. It’s part of the entrance to the Palais Royale Metro station in Paris. Only the French could make something so mundane as a train station entrance look so stunning. And do it with that Gallic nonchalance that makes the rest of us look like a bunch of eager puppies. No wonder they sneer in our general direction.

I didn’t really get a good shot of ‘the whole’ as I was too busy with ‘my art’, giggle. But here’s one I’ve borrowed from Ted Drake on Flickr, who actually bothered to get a good shot of the whole shebang. I should learn from that.

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Here’s some other shots….it’s lovely isn’t it? Makes me want to be there all over again. I just re-read my Paris post…love love love blogging for that instant ‘hit’ of diary/photos/memories. Those couple of days I spent in Paris in the summer were so magical, makes me want to go again. Alas my friend has since moved to Dubai which, I’m sure, is lovely but perhaps not as charming as Paris. Also, not quite as near for a sneaky overnight trip.

Much more importantly…doesn’t that bloke in the photo at the top look like Toby from West Wing? Aha…so that’s where he got to….

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The Fabric of Life

Posted under People I love, Witterings

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My lovely sister-in-law is goodly making a photo album for our parents-in-law (MrSpud’s parents) for Christmas. She’s collecting photos from the weddings of all three of their children, so kind of her. I’m so glad I’m not in charge since I’ve failed to put even our own wedding photos in an album, even though we got married nearly 5 years ago. Ooops. Must have slipped off that damn To Do list…

So I’ve been going through our wedding photos over the last few days, picking out the few that don’t make MrSpud look monstrously fat (he overate out of stress and then refused to diet to look good for the photos…he regrets it now…frankly, we all do). But once I’d stopped weeping at his royal bloatyness, I was struck by how many of the people at our wedding are no longer part of our lives. Two have died, at least 3 couples have split up and a surprising large number of people have quietly just slid out of our lives for various reasons. Mostly, geography has got in the way, some just sneaked off without us noticing, some were actively ‘sacked’ for cruel and unusual selfishness. GOOD RIDDANCE.

Surely wedding photos must be the most accurate ‘snapshot’ of what I call the ‘fabric’ of your  life that you ever get? The one big occasion when you invite everyone who is important to you to be with you, and then you photograph them. So it’s interesting that, for us, only 5 years later that ‘snapshot’ is so wildly out of date. If we were to get married right now the snapshot would be so very different. And MrSpud would be a whole lot slimmer (thank the Lord), but I’d be fatter (boo hiss). But we’d invite a completely different crowd.

Isn’t it interesting how the sands of your life shift like that…slowly, oh so slowly and without you really clocking it? These people who are the very fabric of your life, who support you, laugh with you, love you, cry with you…they move in, move on and move out. We all do it…mostly without meaning to…in and out we go. Mostly it’s a very subtle shift, with only the occasional dramatic exit.

I’d love to be able to map it, and track it. These little shifts and changes that alter the path and pattern of your life. I notice it most often at Christmas, when I come to write our cards. And realise another year has passed without seeing xyz, and pondering when you make the cut and take them off the list. And then you add the new, shiny people in.

In and out they go…some constant, some new, some old, some are forever….whoever they are, however long they stick around, they are part of the complex web of relationships and connections that underpin our lives and weave the history of our lives. What a quilt they would make…I read an article somewhere recently about someone who takes a polaroid photo of every person who comes in to her home, and then displays the photos in her hall. That’s a wonderful, evolving representation of what I’m wiffling on about. But what I want is a map of the subtle changes and shifts….too much to ask? So that when I look back at my life and try to make sense of it, I can see all the people who made it what it is…even if I have to wonder where the hell some of them went?

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The God Post…continued

Posted under People I love, Witterings

9 Comments »

Thank you to everyone who posted and emailed about God/Dod after yesterday’s post. Check out the divine Miss S, splendid in her christening gown and pretty as a flower.

I’m still mulling, and your thoughts and wisdom has been immensely helpful. Otin‘s comment really struck a chord, and I think that’s where I’m heading:

Otin: ” This is my thing to talk about! I am an atheist. When I was young, I treated it like a religion, trying to convince everyone that they were wrong and that I was intellectually superior. As I got older, I realized that people’s faith is a blessing to them. It does not matter what I think. If I could have the power to believe in God, then I would welcome it. I would not deprive a young child of Santa, just to prove that I was right. What victory is it for me to prove that our lives mean nothing more than what we have in front of us. Just because I am condemned to think this way does not mean that I need to push my views on others. If I had a child who wanted to practice a faith, I would be happy for my child. It is not easy to think about your own mortality when you feel that there is nothing beyond that. I think that organized religion sucks, but if my kid asked me if there was a God, I would tell them that I do not know and that it would be up to them to decide”.

But I had to share this story, from LoulaM on Flickr, for no other reason that it encapsulates the complexity of parenting on so many levels:

LoulaM: “Reminds me a bit of when my cousin, aged about 5/6,  got curious about the birds and the bees so my Auntie decided when her husband got home he would sit my cousin down and have a chat about everything. He was really pleased with how it had gone, felt he’d covered just enough, Charlie seemed to take it all in etc.

Then Charlie said “Dad, I have just One. More. Question.”

Cue my uncle sweating and panicking, thinking what on earth could it be etc.

“Daddy, why did The Romans invade Britain?”

Waaaah, don’t you love that? Mind you, I think I’d be better equipped to deal with the birds and the bees that Roman history. Anything remotely historial is definitely one for Daddy. And science related. And politics. Actually pretty much anything general knowledge related. So, pretty much everything then?

Sigh. I knew I should have paid more attention in school. I blame God/Dod.

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The God Post

Posted under People I love, Witterings

14 Comments »

God came to visit Chez Spud today. I was so unprepared, just dashing about trying to get us all suited and booted and out of the door for a baptism. I was wrapping a gift for baby Sofie when BAAAAAHHHMMMM in He came. Actually I invited him in, but by stealth.  I suddenly realised,  whilst telling Bertie (4) where we were going, that I have never talked to him about religion or God or faith before. Well, believe me, that’s quite a chunky topic to tackle on a Sunday morning with no preparation and about 3 minutes to spare.

Of course it’s my own fault. I’ve had four whole YEARS to address this but apathy and spinelessness have got the better of me. Mea culpa. Issue number one: I’m not completely confident in what I believe myself, although I was brought up as a Catholic. Issue number two: MrSpud is a committed atheist. Issue number three: despite being an atheist, MrSpud is annoyingly knowledgeable about doctrine and can argue me under the table whenever I make feeble attempts to justify any kind of faith I may have. Issue four: MrSpud passionately disproves of the Roman Catholic faith.

So, there’s a whole SOUP of issues knocking about which has led to my children being (a) not baptised and (b) totally ignorant of religion, of any kind.

Well, dear reader, let me tell you that I made a complete MESS of my Spud Does God talk. Bertie understood about welcoming Sofie in to God’s family, and knows about church and praying to God. But clearly he thinks God is like Santa Claus, possibly on the back of a discussion about praying to God for things that you want to happen or want…”Oh, but what does Dod (sic) look like…does he have a big white beard?”

It wasn’t really a very satisfactory discussion since I had no idea what I was trying to say, and I couldn’t completely endorse what I was saying (ie. “I believe that….”….er, dunno, so let’s go with “Some people believe that….” and hope you don’t ask me if I believe it too because we’re already running late and I haven’t put my make up on yet…).

So off we toddled to church, and baby Sofie was dunked (but didn’t cry, much to the disappointment of the priest) and Bertie watched but didn’t look very interested. I asked him what he thought as we went out of the church, “Oh, very good…it didn’t take very long did it?”, he said, as clearly that is the measure of whether anything is any good or not. And I thought I’d got away with it for now. Check out baby Sofie’s gown, her very clever Mama made it…self-covered buttons and everything!

Afterwards there was a party with cake (pictured above) and crisps and toys and fun. As I put him to bed tonight I asked him what the best bit of today was. I was confident he’d say the cake, or his riding lesson this morning. “Oh, that thing with Sofie. What did you call it? In that church…with Dod. When she joined that thing, at the church?”…”Oh when Sofie was baptised, and joined God’s family?”…I said, much surprised….”Yes, when Sofie joined God’s family, that was the best thing. But, but, but….will she still be our friend? Now she’s in God’s family? Because I love baby Sofie and I will miss her.”

Clearly I have funked. The poor child is so confused. I need to sort out my own faith, or lack of it, tackle MrSpud and address it properly with the boys. Ideally by tomorrow. The day after? World peace.

But tell me, believers and non believers and inthemiddlelikeme-ers, what did you/would you say to a four year old about faith? HELP.

x

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Cloven

Posted under People I love

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News just in…the pigs are deceased and my freezer is now well stocked. I’m amazed at just how much meat one pig produces, and that’s without the sausages. We’ll be eating pork until the end of time.

The meat arrived in a fairly bulky way…huge, massive rolls of shoulder/leg which we puzzled over for a while and decided to leave until PigWomanJan came and butchered it in to meal sized portions. The pluck (heart, lungs, liver, kidney) was mercifully mostly missing, due to disease. And the butcher spared us the horror of pigs heads, but did chuck in some trotters for (surely?) pure comedy value. Certainly won’t be eating them let’s put it that way.

And so, the wee little piglets that arrived in sacks in the back of PigWomanJan’s car are now food for the masses. It’s been a real experience, and it’s a good feeling to have food that we raised ourselves. But the proof of the pudding will be in the eating of course.

I noted, with interest, that their wigs didn’t come back. Perhaps the butcher kept it..or did Postman Andy finally get his wish?

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Camera Club: Uncle Bob Blues or How to be the Perfect Wedding Guest

Posted under Camera Club

23 Comments »

Introducing Eliza Claire aka Liz…wedding, portrait, boudoir and trash the dress photographer extraordinaire. That’s her in the photo above, suffering for her art. That little hand in the top right is her daughter’s; she was sitting on mummy’s back using her camera strap as reins and doing ‘gee up horsey’…waaaah! I asked Liz to write a guest post for us about how get get good shots at weddings, although her excellent advice would work well at any type of formal event.

Head on over to Liz’s website Eliza Claire Photography for a nose at her portfolio of wonderful, wonderful shots. Don’t know what trash the dress is? Well then definitely check out this part of her site, it’s a lot of fun…don’t know what to do with that wedding/prom dress sitting in your cupboard? Well Liz can help you out with that…not sure what to buy the man who has everything? Well, um, look here for a gift with a personal touch, although you might want to limit such gifts to your other half rather than your Uncle Bob…speaking of which…over to Liz:

Uncle Bob

Dictionary: un·cle bob ?ngk?l b?b (f – Aunt Sue)

n. (American Colloquialism) The guy (or woman) usually found at a wedding, with a camera which is sometimes better than the hired professional’s, sometimes the oldest point and shoot camera there.  What distinguishes the Uncle Bob from the majority of guests, is his attitude.  Uncle Bob will typically believe that he is superior in knowledge and skill to the hired photographer, and will interfere with, obstruct, direct and make difficult the hired professional’s job.

Most wedding photographers have come across one or two ‘Uncle Bob’s’.  Let me tell you my ‘Uncle Bob’ story.  My story involves a bride, a groom a primary photographer and two second shooters. Oh, and the overzealous guest.  We knew she might be trouble when we saw her.  Or, more correctly, when we saw her two semi-pro Nikon cameras – one slung over each shoulder.  She meant business:

And, sure enough, it wasn’t long before she joined us and the bride, and started to direct her own shoot (including one pose that involved both her and the bride lying on the grass)  I imagine that she took some great photos, but her impromptu photo-shoot did mean that dinner was considerably delayed for the other guests.

But how can you avoid being thus-labelled while still taking photos at your friends’ wedding? Because, let’s face it, we all love taking photos and a wedding, with all of your friends and family dressed up and in the best of moods, is the perfect time to do so.  We all want to record their big day in our own way.  I know I do and, even when I’m not working, my camera is never far from my side.

Well, it’s really quite simple – remember that the day is about the bride and groom.  This is just as true a reminder for some wedding professionals who believe that their photos are, not just important, but an integral part of the day! So don’t hold up the proceedings, be considerate and courteous to everyone (including the photographer who’s been paid to capture the bride and groom’s day)

The ideal guest captures the moments that I miss.  Generally, I work alone and, naturally, I cannot be in all places at once.  So, when I’m taking photos of the happy couple with their families, look out for the shot of the bridesmaids hugging, or gran wiping tears away while proudly watching her grandson and his new wife.  Those are the shots that your friends will cherish.

When taking candid photos, a shallow depth of field helps to isolate the subject from the background, but remember that if you’re taking a photo of a small group of people, an aperture of f2.8 may mean that people further away from the focus point won’t be in focus – I would recommend using the Depth of Field Preview button in these situations, just to be sure.  An aperture of f8 is always safe!

Getting the right settings is always going to be about balancing shutter speed and aperture, never more so than in a dark church.  So put your ISO up high and shoot with as small an aperture as you need to keep the shutter speed over (about)  1/100th of a second.

Avoid using flash during key moments, because your flash could blow out the official photos, as well as those of other guests.  Many religious ministers and some civil officiates actually ban flash these days, as it’s so distracting to them.  When cutting the cake I always ask the DJ to announce that I will take my shot first, then invite guests to take theirs – again, not to annoy you, but to ensure that your flash doesn’t blow out my photo.  When we’re all trying to capture the same moment, it’s easy for this to happen.

Look for different angles, for shapes and symmetry.  Try shooting from above or below the normal line of sight – it makes for far more interesting photos.

We’ve all heard stories of guests whose photos have captured the wedding far better than the professional, but your if friends have hired me to do a job for them, then I will be working hard to do so.  Please give me the space to do so to the very best of my ability – don’t stand in the aisle during the ceremony (as many guests do), try not to stand directly behind the bride and groom when they’re having portraits taken, certainly don’t, as one photographer I know experienced, join the bride and groom at the altar.   Stay seated during the ceremony, otherwise you risk distracting the bride and groom, the other guests, and cutting across the hired photographer’s photos.

Finally, have fun! Come out from behind the camera occasionally and see life, not through a lens, but up close and personal.  Record the memories, but be a part of those memories too.

Finally, a couple of photos that I love, that wouldn’t have been possible to capture if it wasn’t for the guests keen on photography.  So don’t stop taking your photos, just don’t turn into Uncle Bob!

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