Chez Spud

I’m on the edge of my seat. Rarely has anything even remotely political gripped me since, as we all, know, I lack any kind of intellectual curiosity. But I’m all fired up about the the announcement of the EU’s first president later this week. Not because I think that having a proper grown up full-time president will improve Europe’s position on the ‘world stage’ (whatever the hell that is), but because the clever money is on Herman Van Rompuy for the post. Even his name thrills me me…a kind of cross between The Addams Family and a sleepy deluded fairy tale chappy. His middle name is Achille, swoon.

But what really sets our Hermy apart from the field is his passion for haiku, those unfathomable 17 syllable Japanese poems. He loves them, he’s mad for them….he even writes them and posts them up on his blog which, by the way, is called “Haiku”.

WHAT’S NOT TO LOVE PEOPLE? He’s got a cool name, he loves poetry, he writes poetry, he’s not afraid to share it, and he blogs. Could he BE any better? Does President Obama blog? He Flickrs, or his People do anyway. But does he blog? Does he write poetry? Does he write it in Flemish, because Hermy does. Here’s his offering on the news that he was now the front runner for the Big Job in Europe:

Trio-voorziterschap EU

Drie golven rollen

Samen de haven binnen

Het trio is thuis

For the non Flemish speakers:

The EU Presidency Trio

Three waves are rolling

Together to the port

The trio is at home.

OK….it’s a little subtle I grant you that, but it’s supposed to be about the need for the current European Commissioner, the new President and the chief foreign policy chap to work together. I love it! No need for months of elegant political maneuvering, let’s cut through all the crap and issue edicts in 17 syllable memos:

Enough of your nonsense!

Work together or we are all lost.

The End.

It’s a little disappointing that he uses Typepad for his blog but there’s plenty of time to bring him in to the WordPress fold. Perhaps he’ll have a Blog Team when he’s President? Does he Twitter? Ah, probably not…those 140 characters are probably too loquacious for a haiku-geek-guy.

I can’t help but imagine future meeting of World Leaders….Obama is there sneaking off for a fag and a quick Crackberry fix when he thinks no one is looking…other world leaders of note who I can’t name (cf lack of intellectual curiosity) are also present doing their thing…and Hermy is there, distant, in a trance, slightly aloof and somewhat European, composing (probably shit) Haiku in a language spoken by, oooh, around 3% of the world’s population. The rest of the gathering are bound to feel inferior and submit to his wisdom, mostly because they don’t know what the hell he’s on about but at least it’s only 17 syllables long and they can all push off for a beer now. Job done.

Admit it: it’s a BRILLIANT tactic. The man is a genius. He might look like Kermit the  Frog, but he’s a master tactician and I bow down before him.

Hermy Kermy Van Winkle for President. Ra ra RA!

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