Jan
4
2010
Aging (Dis)gracefully
Awww, look! There’s the wife looking super fine, super cool, superdooper on her birthday yesterday. She’s actually 105 now but, by the miracles of modern science and good skincare, she doesn’t look a day over 35 does she? There are vicious rumours of a little post processing ‘help’ but that’s between me, Lightroom and the gun the wife has nailed against my forehead…
Lately I have age on my mind. The big FOUR-OH is looming this year and I’ve decided to embrace the fecker with my list 39 things to do before I’m 40. The theory is that I will arrive on my FOUR-OH birthday feeling smug and fulfilled rather than old and baggy. Also, over Christmas, I was truly delighted to learn that my Wii Fit age is 51. My mother-in-law (60 something) tried it too, just for a lark, and her Wii Fit age is 46. Wrongity wrong wrong wrong. Basically, I’m ancient and knackered already, and nothing but botox and a tediously strict macrobiotic diet can resolve it. Or so I thought…
Well, hoorah, just in the nick of time I have discovered the secret of youthfulness and you don’t find it in a pot of face cream or a syringe full of toxins. Instead you’ll find your mispent youth lurking on the dancefloor, clad in a pair of sparkley high heeled sandals and a swishy skirt. Even the men. Yes, ballroom dancing is the end to all our aging woes and I have photographic proof.
Whilst shambling through the Royal Festival Hall yesterday on our zimmer frames, me and the wife happened upon some kind of Strictly Come Dancing tea dance ‘thing’ going on. It was hugely popular, mostly frequented by men of a ‘certain age’ and their rather young Asian wives but let’s skip that part. My point is this…the ladies of a certain age (well in to their 60s) were so elegant, agile, light on their feet, balletic, athetic, jolly, gorgeous and looked decades younger than they were. Look at this beauty…I wouldn’t air my mummy arms in public even now, and I’m only 39…respect to the Toned Armed One…and check out the nipped in waist and lovely pair of pins…
Me and wife looked on helplessly having rebuffed offers to dance with her dapper partner on the basis that, er, we can’t actually dance. “But it’s the cha cha cha!”, he retorted looking, rightly, appalled, “EVERYONE can do the cha cha cha!”. Seriously, we can’t. So he danced with the Audrey Hepburn look alike and we photographed them strutting their stuff with such panache.
‘Audrey’ was much in demand as a dance partner, but when she wasn’t she sat on the side with her two lovely friends and waited like a proper lady.
I congratulated them on their wonderful dancing and told them that they’d made me wish I could dance. They very earnestly told me that I MUST learn, and that dancing keeps you youthful. And there they sat…the proof of the pudding….looking years and years, 10 years probably, younger than they actually were.
So I’m hoping my list of 39 things to day before 40 is editable? If so, I’m taking off ‘making biscuits for the first time’ off the list because (a) it’s toally lame anyway and (b) I could just nip down the shops and buy a packet couldn’t I? But the pursuit of guaranteed youthfulness? You can’t buy that in a packet down the shops can you?
So, who’s up for the cha cha cha with me? My dancecard has spaces but, be warned, I will likely clumsily stamp on your foot with my sparkly shoes. Sorry about that.
LOL, this made me chuckle. i will learn with you but i won’t be the man, and don’t dress in dungarees either, it’ll be glamour all the way and those special caps for your 6″ stilettos…
Please don’t take biscuit making off the list! Surely you should remove the work-related thing instead?
Dancing sounds like fun, though.
I have five good friends who have birthdays this week. I bet that I would like your wife as well.
Oh, I miss having a Wife friend. And such a stunner too. I may take this picture to the hairdresser and say give me that haircut.
I hear “Everyone can do the cha cha” as a challenge!
Take of the biscuits, and yes, add “learn the cha cha” to the list. If you need inspiration, look at Audrey , what an amazing women!
Wife is equally amazing!
I’ve been so busy doing nothing much that I haven’t been around to visit my blog friends in too long. So, though my wishes are late, I mean them with my whole heart. May your year be filled with laughter. May all your surprises be happy ones. May you remember to count your blessings. May you know each day how very much you are loved. Happy new year, my new friend.
Fabulous pictures, and fabulous Audrey! It’s almost tempting but I just can’t see my stumpy legs and lack of co-ordination ever suiting sparkly high heels and hand-sewn sequins.
she does look good, I’ve never been into dancing but I may start my list of 39 things before 40 six years in advance and put learning to cha cha at the top of it…
Overheard in a shop in Woodbridge that you can dance every night around here and all the classes have waiting lists!!! I would love to have a go in spite of two left feet!
Wow, look at her go – so lithe and graceful! Great pics, Spud. xx
[...] to grips with the Lensbaby as there’s a bit of a knack to it, which has eluded me for a year. The wife gave me a quick lesson and ta da! I can do it, ish, but I do at least know what I’m supposed [...]
Hubs and I have tossed around the idea of ballroom dancing forever. But he won’t actually do it. Maybe I can just go by myself?? I really really want the sparkly shoes, not to mention the sexy gams.
actually, i think you can buy a packet of youthfulness down at the shops…in fact, i need to replenish my supply. youthtopia, i think it’s called…
and i can’t dance either. the difference is that i don’t really think i want to be able to.
ohh exciting, will you get to wear big swishy skirts and too much fake tan?
one problem I have however…although I agree learning to dance is worthy of your list…the idea that making bisuits is Lame? well! Just remember in future years (far, FAR into the future) your young little grandkids wont care one jot for your superman arms, and teeny waist..but they will love you extra specially hard for all the home baked treats you can provide…