Feb
12
2010
The Female of the Species
I almost called this post ‘On women’ but thought it would attract the wrong kind of attention. The kind that you get on Flickr if you post a photo of your feet, the uglier the better apparently.
I’ve been thinking about women a lot recently, but not in that way. About how delightful, empowering, reassuring, encouraging and just plain JOYFUL it can be to spend time with other women and, especially, groups of women. I rarely get together with groups of women, having never really had a big gang of ‘girlie’ friends as it’s just not my thing at all…the phrase ‘girlie gaggle’ brings me out in a bit of a rash actually. I much prefer to see my friends individually, I’m definitely a one-on-one kind of pal (not like that).
But lately the company of women has been thrust upon me and hoorah for that. Yay for the sheer pleasure of female company (sigh, again, no not like that), it’s a delicious surprise. It started with Blog Camp 1.5 at Bee’s place, and then continued with Blog Camp 2.0 and then 3.0 at Julochka’s, each an exclusively female gathering (not by design…come on boys…who will be first to bag a place at Blog Camp?). I’ve failed to blog with any kind of insight about any of the Blog Camps I’ve attended; each has been such a special time, really quite extraordinary in fact, and definitely one of those ‘you had to be there’ kind of events. So often I find my thoughts drifting back to one or other of the Blog Camps…of the friendships…the bonds….the laughs….the confidences…the ‘femaleness’ of it all…warmth, cooking, making, crafting, motherhood, sisterhood, empathy, giggles, wine, chocolate, crochet, travel, language, books, sewing, art journals, journaling, baked goods, photography, grief, hugs (non contact), tea, cakes, biscuits, scones, jam, walks, life, boyfriends, husbands, weddings, schools…. and all the rest.
And then I chucked a local knitting group in to the mix. What finer way to spend an evening than with a group of relative strangers gathered around a big wooden table in a pub, drinking coffee/tea/wine and knitting/hooking like fiends. I was a little anxious about the whole thing to be honest. I’m a new crocheter, and new to the group. Surely a recipe for snootiness? Not a bit. Everyone was so welcoming, so encouraging and happy to help without a hint of OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!! And the ladies who run the group made a point of walking around and talking to everyone, so friendly, so cheery. I sat for the best part of 2 hours crocheting, and enjoying the warmth of the women and the threads that connect us womenfolk. Actually there was a man there too, what a result!
But this is my point. Women together, onside, supportive and loving are a world changing powerhouse. Together we are so much more than the sum of our parts (no, sigh sigh, not like THAT). I’ll just say that again and put it in bold for anyone who has drifted off….together we are so much more than the sum of our parts. And, why the hell not, together we are so much more than the sum of our parts.
So here’s the rub. Us womefolk spend so much time backstabbing, bitching, cat fighting, undermining, waiting…waiting..oh-so-patiently-a-waiting to catch each other out etc etc etc that, too often, we are so busy triumphantly destroying each other to be anything more than so much less than the sum of our parts. I can’t be bothered to be all preachy about it because all you womenfolk know what I mean. You’ll have partaken in it, and been on the receiving end of it. I know I have, on both counts. And it’s a dreadful, destructive, vicious pastime. Why do we do that? Why does it always have to be such a competition about absolutely everything? The world is drifting on, waiting and needing our help while we’re busy twitching ‘n’ witching ‘n’ bitching about each other’s weight/hair/income/popularity/car blah blah blah.
Blog Camp…knitting group….gatherings of warm, loving, giving, funny, clever, charming, supportive women…. the best of times, the best kind of women…the women that have touched my life in ways too complicated, too precious to explain.
The female of the species is more deadly than the male, so says the song. Only by our own vicious, bitchy, spiteful tongues. Put ‘em away gals. Life’s too short.
Here endeth the lesson.
Kiss kiss hug hug kiss kiss (not like that)
xxx
