Rules for 5 year olds
Posted under People I love
Last week, after Day 3 of Big School, Bertie casually dropped in to conversation that, “I am watching everyone to work out what the rules are. So I won’t get in trouble.”
It touched me that he’s trying to find his place in the scrum, and trying to work things out for himself through observation, as well as ensuring he’s doing the right thing. Like most children he has a well developed sense of ‘what you’re allowed to do’ and a healthy respect for the ‘rules’.
But what are the rules at school when you’re 5? I was floundering a bit. I don’t even know if there are ‘School Rules’ the way there were when I was a child, I suspect not. Although he’s picked up a few like ‘no running inside’.
So what are the rules? I blogged about my own ‘life rules’ a while back but none of my list seem appropriate…
1. Have a framework (like a routine but without the dreer) to banish chaos but don’t be ruled by it.
2. Ruthlessly cull stuff on a regular basis (excess clothes, tat, toys, piles of paper, toxic friends and other randoms who drain the life blood from you). Stuff is the enemy.
3. Have a passion and indulge it.
4. Remember that what goes around comes around.
5. Bad stuff might have happened in the past, but it’s over now. Let it go.
6. Talk less, listen more.
7. Orandum est ut sit mens sana in corpore sano.
8. Burgundy hair never looks good on anyone.
9. Do less, better.
10. I am the master of my fate…I am the captain of my soul…and if you can’t change your fate, change your attitude.
I’ve thunked it through and, beyond the rules that he will learn or be told about at school (like ‘no running inside), these are the rules I would bestow on him…just the three, no point being overly elaborate:
1. Listen to the grown ups and do as you are asked.
2. Be kind to everyone, and remember to say please and thank you.
3. Try your best.
I think that covers it? What would you add or change? I considered a ‘have fun/enjoy yourself’ but decided that’s one of those pointless things parents say, along with ‘be careful’, which is said for our benefit and not for the child’s.
Actually now I look at them I might junk my ‘life rules’ and just go with the 5 year old rules. Not sure who the ‘grown ups’ are in this scenario but I wouldn’t mind handing over the burdensome reigns of responsibility for a while. How liberating! No more sleepless nights wondering what the best course of action is…just listen to the ‘grown ups’ and do as they ask. I like it.
I like your 5 year old rules and will be looking at introducing them here
Actually I would add ‘work hard’
I remember watching Child of Our Time on TV ages ago with Sir Robert Winston (who I have a lot of time for) who said that it is good for children to understand from an early age that school is about learning and that putting in effort will help them get on.
And also never invite that boy for tea who takes every single toy we possess in this house, puts it on the floor and then proceeds to break them.
As a secondary teacher I always managed to get my kids to somehow choose my three rules:
– Respect people
– Respect property
– Respect yourself.
Then we would go on a year long exploration of what they meant, but you’d be surprised how much kids already get.
I don’t know how I’d translate them into 5 year old, but my little girl is about to turn 5 and we concentrate on Listen, Think, Talk. Listen not just to the teacher, but to other kids and to the situation. Think about what you are being asked to do, about what you are going to do, about how it will affect others, about whether it is a good idea. Talk about any problems you have – so don’t hit or run away, tell the other kid or tell the teacher how it made you feel.
Neither set of rules is something I expect kids to always ‘get right,’ but it’s a starting point to get them to work out if their behaviour is acceptable and take responsibility for it themselves, and gives them some general strategies.
Deb…those are great. I love the 3 Rs for older children…and Listen..Think…Talk is just perfect for the littlies.
Thanks so much. Always helpful to have insight from other parents and teachers too! x
[smile] “observing” first is so similar to my William!
I like your rules. I would just like to add something about “exploring” or “experimenting” – perhaps because i come from a school system which is too dogmatic.
But I like Deb’s rules even more and will adopt those. Thanks!
J’adore the latin mon cherie!
Sorry carrying on without hitting go… I think those three are very wise words – clever Spud
Love it! Your sweet, savy boy will have it figured out and then some in short order. Reminds me of Robert Fulghum’s All I Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten. (http://robertfulghum.com/index.php/fulghumweb/booksentry/all_i_really_need_to_know_i_learned_in_kindergarten/ )
You know, the golden rule and sanitation and leadership…all roled into one great list. However I do think he missed out on your burgandy hair rule, couldn’t agree more!
ooh monster are back!?
I gave Olly one rule – ‘Be the boss of you’. If may not apply to Bertie but Olly naturally falls to the bottom of the pecking order and I didn’t want him to be a sheep, just following the crowd.
He’s really taken this on board and the teacher even said to me at the end of last term that she heard a boy ask Olly to play a game he didn’t want to play and Olly said, ” I am the boss of me, you are the boss of you.”
Pretty wise for a 6 year old!
Love your rules! Listen, Be Kind, and Just try are pretty much the staples, aren’t they? I would add one more at the very top of our own Boys Rules of Life – ‘Yes, you can’.
The other we chant at them on a regular basis is ‘it’s good to be different’, but if we can create a deep-seated belief that ‘yes, they can’ we’ll feel like we did something right.
Teacher Tom blogged this week about the rules the kids in his class came up with – it’s a great post (very funny) and I thought you might like it:
http://teachertomsblog.blogspot.com/2010/09/you-and-your-friends-agreed.html
Bertie looks so much like you in that photo!! xx
I like your 5 year old rules. And your own life rules. I think I would add work hard too just because it is best to get used to that early on and I like Laura LittleStuff’s “Yes you can” and “it’s good to be different” because it is good to be different! Oh though, how I wish I could just hand over to a grown-up once in a while to make some of my decisions for me!
I think you culled down your list quite well. I really, really love the list. I am a teacher and I’ve never seen a better, more succinct list. I may have to steal them. I don’t have a lot of rules in my classroom, but one of them is that we only use kind words – even to ourselves – even about ourselves.
I love the rules you came up with and that picture is just gorgeous!