Wherein I am totally apathetic about the Royal Wedding
Posted under Witterings
The boys’ new bowls, a sop to the Royal Wedding ‘fever’ which is almost entirely passing me by. What a difference from Charles ‘n’ Diana which, in my 10 year old state, gripped me in a whole body experience kind of way. I just ached, ached for it all. My bedroom was a shrine to all things Diana, my bedroom window (overlooking the street) was adorned with posters, flags, postcards. Charlie boy didn’t get much of a look in of course. It was all about Diana. Well, we all know how that turned out but I always had a soft spot for Diana, even when she turned a bit, well, loopy. The 10 year old in me just couldn’t give her up, I suppose it was a kind of crush.
And here we are, fast forward 30 years and we’re doing it all over again. I’m not given to breathless crushes much these days but, if I were, ‘Catherine’ Middleton (as I gather we are now to call her) wouldn’t even make the longlist. I’m not bothered about William since he, like his father, was born royal and is just pootling along the path of duty. I suppose he had to marry someone, and it’s not a ridiculous match in the way that Charles and Diana clearly were. I think he might even be marrying for love, who knows.
But what on earth is a ‘nice’, middle class, educated girl like Kate (sorry, can’t do the Catherine thing) Middleton doing marrying in to The Firm? She’s clearly been waiting/banking on marrying William since she was at university, since she’s not bothered with a proper job of any sort other than a few months as a buyer for Jigsaw, I think. What a waste. She’s 29. She graduated a long, long time ago and has basically just wafted around being William’s on/off girlfriend and helping out with her mum and dad’s business. As my mother would have said, ‘She’s never really amounted to anything’.
And now she’s got what, presumably, she wanted all along. I wonder how she’ll feel about it in 5, 10, 15 years time…will she still feel it was worth giving up her privacy, her career aspirations, her life (basically)? Will all the feeling of ‘success’ and power be worth it? Will she continue to love being the centre of attention, or will she crave it and hate it all at the same time once the novelty has worn off? It’s seems like a hopelessly outdated ‘dream’, to marry a prince and live happily ever after, for a modern, educated woman. I cannot think of a worse curse to be honest.
I’m not passionately anti-royalist although I don’t believe they have any kind of meaningful role anymore. To me they are part of history, part of the fabric of our heritage but I don’t see that they have much of a useful purpose beyond that. Yes their patronage is hugely helpful for many charities…yes they are great for tourists…yes they are, increasingly, great fodder for the tabloid press (yes Prince Andrew I’m looking at you). But beyond that?
Kate Middleton is an expensively educated, intelligent, beautiful and confident woman. I just cannot understand why she has spent nearly all of her adult life craving marriage to the heir to the throne, without even attempting to carve out a meaningful career and role for herself. No doubt she will soon be plunged in to charity work and photo opportunities and all that stuff that will be ‘expected’ of her as a Royal. What a massive, missed opportunity though…we could have had a thoroughly modern princess, a woman with her own agenda, her own life. Instead we seem to be getting Diana all over again. Diana was 19 when she married, too young to know better. Kate Middleton is 29. Definitely old enough to know the score.
I hope, for Kate and William, that it all works out for them. But right now I can’t think of a worse role model for girls and young women. If I had a daughter I wouldn’t be encouraging any kind of ‘crush’ on someone who has seemingly pinned all her hopes, and for years, on marrying well. How very, very Jane Austin like.
Let’s hope that love can sustain them. And that I’m not carried off to The Tower for this post.
Perhaps it’s an age thing? The young girls I have spoken to are all wildly excited about it but I think we live in much more cynical times. The damage that Diana herself did to the image of the Royal Family has played a huge part in this too.
My boys will be watching – I’ll be in a nice hotel for the weekend :)
Maybe I’m just a hopeless romantic, but I’d prefer to think that she is marrying for love despite, rather than because of, who he is. Would I waste my degree for love? Umm yup, been there, done that. Regrets? No, it’s who I am, who I’m meant to be. Hopefully Kate feels the same when she’s in her mid-30s and beyond.
But I do agree, she’s not a role model, she’s just a 29 year old girl who hasn’t yet done much. Will be interesting to see what she does over the next 10 yrs, if anything…
I totally agree. It seems so strange, and so tied up with the Wag culture, celeb fawning, ‘marry rich’ nonsense of the ‘L’Oreal’ generation. It may be sour grapes, of course, from someone who missed that generation by a few years.
I hadn’t thought of it like that – and a well reasoned argument with which I agree. Yes: the role model that Kate purports to set isn’t one that I’d like our girls (at any age) to subscribe to. But then you don’t talk much of the role model that Diana was setting at the time she married Charles. Was it that different? Admittedly, times have moved on and we live in a vastly different and more modern world. I guess one of the big differences is that the Media hadn’t followed Diana’s life so vociferously as they have Kate’s.
I am neither pro nor anti Royal. I have had the privilege (and it was just that) of spending half an hour walking and talking to Prince Charles as I showed him a new facility at a Charity of which I was a Trustee. He is a lovely, warm and generous man who gives much to the country’s charitable sector. He was sensitive, sincere and deeply caring about the disabled people we were helping at the time and was very inspiring.
Then there’s the Queeen who won’t meet Catherine’s parents before the wedding because they are “beneath” her. That just isn’t modern is it? Pathetic in my opinion.
I *will* be watching the Royal Wedding next Friday with our two girls. Firstly, they won’t be going to school and I have no childcare so a good pastime. Secondly, it’s a fairy tale and all little girls thrive on fairy tales (just like you did 30 years ago!) Lastly, I love the music and remember watching it from South Africa 30 years ago as a child – because of anti apartheid Equity ban on the soundtrack – all the music and commentary had to be substituted. This time round, apartheid has ended and I am now a proud UK citizen – I’m looking forward to listening to the live soundtrack with our girls!
I can only assume Kate really loves William, because I can’t understand at all why anyone would voluntarily join the Royal Family. I just can’t imagine giving up my freedom and enduring the scrutiny she will be under for the rest of her days. No never having to worry about paying the mortgage, wearing designer frocks or holidaying in luxurious surroundings would make up for it.
I do feel she’s got knocking on the job front though- it must be really difficult carrying out any job under the paparazzi’s gaze. And maybe she’s worked really hard for her parents’ firm- it’s just not visible to the rest of us. But then I’ve had an expensive education, have a couple of Cambridge degrees and I haven’t “amounted to much” either so perhaps I feel some sympathy on that score! I’d rather we had an intelligent, university educated future Queen than not. And it would be preferable if she had some real life work experience- I hope she has, even if it is mainly in the family business- but I’m not sure there’s much that can really prepare one for joining “the Firm.
I’m not sure whether Kate is a role model for young girls or not- but I won’t be encouraging my daughter to think marrying into the Royal Family is a Good Thing, whether she has a career first or not. They’re hardly representative of a meritocracy are they?! I think the present Queen has served us well and showed real duty to the country, but honestly, I think it’s time we were a Republic. The monarchy is an anachronism.
I am having a little party for the children though. I am a bundle of contradictions! Any excuse for a party…
I feel rather sorry for her, to be honest as I don’t think she has had much choice.
Let’s assume, for the sake of argument, that she genuinely loves him, that they get on well, enjoy each other’s company and want to spend the rest of their lives together. Let’s also assume that she’s felt like this since she graduated.
Well then she’s stuffed, isn’t she? She can’t do a “proper” job, because the press would be all over her. She can’t get the tube to work, or grab a sandwich in Pret, or sign up for some sort of graduate training scheme, because she’d never get a chance to do it properly because of who she’s going out with. So she’s effectively given a choice – have a life or have the man you love…
And let’s assume that she had had a career, can you imagine the hoo ha if she said, “actually you know, I’m only 29, I’ve got a job I love and am good at, all I’ve done is get married, so I can’t see why i have to give it up”. Sophie Rhys Jones tried to stay working and married to a Royal and that didn’t last long, and he was only Prince Edward…
That’s probably a bit over-dramatic, but I do think Kate’s probably had it pretty tough. I suspect that she does like the glamour and the glitz, but I also suspect she’d also quite like to have spent her 20s doing something other than hanging around…
I agree with you, I really do. I’d love to be able to say to my girls – see that Princess Catherine (agree with you on how wrong that sounds too), well she had a great career as well as being married to a prince, but even in 2011, I can’t see the great British public (or indeed the less great British press) going for it. It’s not part of the fairy tale, after all. Happily ever after never mentioned the 9-5…
Lots of really interesting comments, thank you. And no death threats…
I feel kind of sorry for her too. She was trapped the minute she set her cap at William, really. And, of course, even if she’d carved out a career in the last 10 years it would be over as of 29 April. I think it’s the fact that she never even tried that irritates me.
Diana as a role model is an interesting one. She was so young, only 19…and of a totally different class and background than Kate. I’m not sure she’d ever have done anything different than marry well, probably what she was born for.
What’s interesting is that, if you believe the accounts of the time, Charles married Diana because she was basically the only girl left in the UK that was suitable. All commoners were dismissed as possible matches of course, quite different than William and Kate!
I hope that they really do love each other, they seem very natural with each other. Because they are going to need a lot of love to withstand the pressure of what is coming at them in the years to come, that’s for sure.
Thanks for the debate, fascinating. x
we have a similar common princess here in denmark. she too didn’t really do anything in her own right. if i remember correctly, she worked for a real estate agent and then she was employed by microsoft as an excuse for one of the local heads to get an invite to the royal wedding. she took a lot of presentation skills courses, which i guess have served her well. she’s now been a right old broodmare, just producing #3 and #4 royal children, but she does seem made for the role. whatever that means.
what i often think of when i’m baking or sewing is whether these girls, who were ordinary like me, are allowed to do things like that anymore if they want to….
you’re absolutely right, she’s not much of a role model, but like the danish crown princess mary, she’s got the look.
ok, i always do that..i read the other comments after i comment, but WTF? the queen refuses to meet kate’s parents because they’re beneath her? that’s madness and a refusal to face the modern world…i believe adrian that charles is actually a good guy, but his mother? a dinosaur. let’s hope kate helps modernize things…
I must agree on the sentiment behind this post. I too am completely apathetic about the whole thing. If I was at home I would probably watch it just because, but I have to work! No bank holiday for shop workers! But to be honest, not fussed.
Maybe she should have got a job/ started a career. But then, I’m 24 this year and I have not started a career or even have much on an inkling as to what I want to do. I’m just hanging around figuring out what I want to do with my life and how to go about doing it. (there must be something I can do right? I’m not going tobe under employed forever…) maybe she didn’t know what to do. Maybe she really is in love?
Who knows?
Apparently the Queen met the Middletons last week (Monday? Tuesday?) but did you grandmother meet your in-laws before your wedding day? I’m pretty certain mine didn’t, and I hadn’t even met my grandfather-in-law until 6 months after the wedding. I think that the whole Queen/Middleton thing is just tabloid gossip.
Princes Diana was a great princes everyone will say this she was kind hearted but she is no more now anyway we shall see Middleton will fulfill her role.
I blogged about this a whlie back because the message that you just need to sit around and do nothing and eventually your Prince will decide to get around to marrying you thing REALLY irritated me
She could have worked for a charity or done something – if the wives of the leaders of the main political parties can manage it then she could as well (and all this whilst she was just a girlfriend)
Not sure I’m going to be able to watch it but suspect Bigger will want me to….
You’ve pretty much summed it up. It is so wrong how certain areas of the press are describing how Kate has “sacrificed” the past few years of her life to be William’s “on/off” girlfriend. A sacrifice means giving up something precious. Maybe Kate doesn’t consider a career and independence to be that precious? In that case it is no sacrifice. Just another trick of royal spin.
See you in the Tower!
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