Chez Spud

Mr Bertie, finally mastering the monkey bars this afternoon. Until now any attempt at swinging across them has resulted in him hanging off the first bar and screaming very loudly for someone to come and rescue him. Not anymore. Monkey Boy woke me up from a tiny and delicious afternoon snooze to demonstrate his new skill. I applauded and confessed I’m not able to do the monkey bars, and never have been able to. He fixed me with a suitably scathing look and told me that it’s ‘easy’ and implored me to try again ‘with all my might’. I declined. Nothing like the sight of a 40 year old woman having a tantrum over the monkey bars to really put a downer on the day.

Earlier in the day Bertie set up his first business. It’s quite novel, I’m not entirely convinced he’s thought it through or established who his target market is but let’s leave that to one side. He’s decided that he should be a house moving consultant. He can tell you when you need to move house by looking at you and assessing if you’re ‘too high’ and should move house. We were a bit puzzled by this, but closer questioning revealed that he will be looking at your height relative to your house’s ceiling height and if you’ve grown too big then..of course..you need to move house.

He’s launching the business with a handwritten flyer, to be sent to all our friends and family and posted through the doors of unsuspecting locals who, I’m willing to bet, have never even considered whether they are getting too tall for their houses.

Here’s his flyer

For those of you not fluent in 5yo emergent writing it says:

“if yoo dont now wen too move house yoo need to col vis number” [if you don't know when to move house you need to call this number]

What a genius idea for a business! Providing a service you never even knew you needed and creating and cornering the market all in one. So, who thinks they might getting too tall for their house and needs assessing? Yoo need to col vis number….

 

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