Chez Spud

Already the memory of the 30 secrets is fading fast; I was just looking at my photoset of the project on flickr, and honestly I couldn’t remember what a couple of them were from the pictures, I had to click through to the description. How could I already have forgetten Secret 27…I am a total [...]

Oh yes, it’s true…I am a Big Fat Liar! Let the facts speak for themselves:
1. This is secret 30. No it isn’t, I miscounted, this is actually secret 31 and I purposely didn’t renumber the secrets to keep you all in suspenders. Lie 1.
2. I took the above photo myself. No, I didn’t. Peer closer [...]

Picture the scene. It’s the summer of 1977 and I am 6 years old. The UK is gripped with  Silver Jubilee celebration madness; the Queen had been ‘on the throne’ (snigger) for 25 years and we cracked open miles of bunting, shut streets and had parties in them and printed terrible photos of Her Royal [...]

For a professional communicator, I have a disturbing knack of saying exactly the wrong thing at the wrong time. I’m a lot better these days, but as a child and teenager my lack of tact was verging on the legendary. I think I must be over the worst of it though as I struggled to [...]

I’ve already mentioned that I can’t catch or throw. Neither can I run – regardless of how fit I am, I just…can’t… run, I flake out after an embarrassingly short distance and have to lie down, gasping and panting. I also lack any kind of hand-eye coordination, I can’t jump and am very clumsy. Also, [...]

Nooooo, not like ‘that’. I couldn’t think of a title which encapsulates this secret, but faking is a significant part of it. And so the title stands. It’s a cheap shot for attention, I admit it, so shoot me…
Once upon a time in 2002, I went to Australia on business. I was working for an [...]

Oh how MrSpud just adores this story…
Let’s go back. Way back. Way back when. Back to the early days of me and MrSpud’s courtship, when we were young, less lined and at least one of us was a whole lot less shouty. Let’s go back to Christmas 2001 shall we? We’d been dating for 3 [...]

Oh I was a HORROR as a child. Feisty, angry, bossy, aggressive (scratching other children was a favoured pastime) and moody. What a delight I must have been! Add in a temper as quick thing from quick land and it was a heady mix. But way worse than any of that was my penchant [...]

As we all know, men don’t make passes at girls who wear glasses…which is why I spent most of my 20s squinting. As, in my crazy head, the vague, distracted, squinty, wrinkled up nose look is an absolute WINNER.

I just don’t like wearing specs, it’s a vanity thing. I hate the way they leave a [...]

I want therefore I get, it’s simple enough. I’ve always, always wanted blonde swishy hair in an elegant bob rather than the brunette frizz bomb that I have. So I bit the bullet and bought a wig and, once I’d tussled it off Postman Andy who was surprisingly reluctant to give it up, I wore [...]