Chez Spud

Posts Tagged ‘Dirty Little Secrets’

Dirty Little Secrets

Posted under Books I love

11 Comments »

170 365 Secret 17...I keep a grudge book

Oh, haven’t looked at that self-portrait for a while…from Secret 17 of my 30 secrets in 30 days project from last year …”I keep a Grudge Book“. I still do. Just in case anyone was wondering…

How did I ever have the time to do all those self-portraits? How did I ever unearth 30 secrets which were fit to share? Well, I was working less than I do now and the Megaboys were still napping for 2 hours in the afternoon. Sigh, how I miss ‘the nap’, the quiet of the house in the afternoon…a couple of delicious hours all to myself. Happy days.

Dirty Little Secrets…not ‘those’ kinds but literary ones. Do you have any? I don’t, although apparently I’m supposed to. I heard a discussion on Radio 4 recently where Learned Folk revealed which books they haven’t ever read, but ought to have done. I can’t remember who was being interviewed, a woman who was either an author or a literary critic and some Emeritus Professor do-dah. The woman fessed up never having read ‘Sense & Sensibility’ which is a book that, according to her, someone who is considered ‘well read’ should have read. She was clearly mortified at having to admit to it, and was making frantic promises to read it this summer. Why? She’s middle aged. She’s got this far without having the desire or motivation to read it, so why do it out of duty?

The Emeritus Professor had a much healthier view. I cant’ remember what his ‘shameful’ admission was, perhaps he didn’t have one. He made the point that no one can possibly be expected to have read everything and that even attempting to do so deprives us of the sheer JOY of reading for reading’s sake. He buys trashy books at airports to read on the plane, that’s his ‘dirty little secret’ because if the plane goes down he wants his last reading experience to have been an entertaining one, rather than an ‘improving’ one. Good for him! Although he did add that they aren’t the kind of books he would like his colleagues in the Common Room to see him reading. Bah. Literary snobbishness? I hate that. Grudge Book immediately.

I can’t think of any books that I haven’t read that I feel I ‘ought’ to have done. But then I don’t hold myself as being ‘well read’. Instead, I like to think that I ‘read well’ (d’you see what I did there?). I read books which appeal to me, which entertain, enthrall and challenge me. If it doesn’t, I stop reading it. This is a fairly new development, being able to stop reading a book without finishing it. When I was younger I would just plough on but now I just call it a day. Plenty of other books on the pile calling to me. This week I was duped in to finishing a book that was really very dull. ‘The Secret Intensity of Everyday Living’ promised so much, such an intriguing title. I felt sure it was worth pushing on through chapter after chapter of mediocre writing. Surely something was going to happen? But it never did. Pah, I hate that. What a waste of precious reading time!

Whilst I don’t have an ‘I ought to have read’ list, I do have a ‘Books I Hate That Everyone Else Loves’ list. Top of the list is 100 Years of Solitude. I really, really disliked that book and found it tedious and pedestrian. But everyone else raves about it. I haven’t read the Narnia books because I thought The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe was stuff and nonsense.

And then there is the ‘Dirty Little Secrets’ list…I used to adore reading Jeffrey Archer, Jilly Cooper and Joanna Trollope. I may even *cough* have read a Maeve Binchy novel in My Youth. None of these could ever count towards being ‘well read’ but who cares? And who’s keeping score anyway?

So, I fessed up to my Dirty Little Secrets in the literary department. Tell me yours. What books have you read that you’re ashamed of, purge your soul right here. And do you feel you ‘ought’ to have read certain books, and why? Have you pretended to have a read a book when you haven’t? Let’s get all our secrets out shall we.

Sits down and hands round the biscuits….xx

If you liked that, you might like this ...

Share and Enjoy:
  • Print
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • Google Bookmarks
  • email
  • Reddit
  • StumbleUpon
  • Technorati
  • Twitter

FINALLY…Secret 30…I am a Big…Fat…Liar…

Posted under 30 Secrets in 30 Days, Dirty Little Secrets

55 Comments »

A Big...Fat...Liar..shame on you Spuddles

A Big...Fat...Liar..shame on you Spuddles

Oh yes, it’s true…I am a Big Fat Liar! Let the facts speak for themselves:

1. This is secret 30. No it isn’t, I miscounted, this is actually secret 31 and I purposely didn’t renumber the secrets to keep you all in suspenders. Lie 1.

2. I took the above photo myself. No, I didn’t. Peer closer (ignore wrinkles, sunspots, nasil hair etc). MrSpud can clearly be seen snapping me, reflected in my shades. He’s little, but get a magnifying glass and you’ll spot him, on tippytoes probably. Lie 2.

3. I told you 30 secrets. 31 if we include today’s bonus revelation. But, oh my, one of them was a Big…Fat..Lie. [pauses to allow collective deep breath]. I’m afraid so, I played with you and told fibs. And I don’t mean little white lies either. It’s a big, fat, black, hairy lie with boils on it. Lie 3.

So, to atone for my sin, given that I am Catholic and thus guilt is my watchword, I am giving away a prize to the first person to comment who can correctly guess which of my 30 Secrets in 30 Days was entirely untrue. Don’t be shy to have a go, I will post the prize anywhere in the world…and it’s (a) worth having and (b) will be personalised for you. I’m not telling what it is because I’m annoying like that. Don’t worry, it’s not my dressing up box. Or MrSpud.

A quick visual reminder of the 30 secrets…I feel stripped bare of my soul and will awake tomorrow feeling renewed and cleansed. But mostly just bloody grateful that it’s finished! Thanks for listening, thanks for the comments, thanks for all the laughs…now, get guessing. Which one was the Big Fat Lie? ONE GUESS PER PERSON! x

30 Secrets in 30 Days...but one was a Big Fat Lie

30 Secrets in 30 Days...but one was a Big Fat Lie

If you liked that, you might like this ...

Share and Enjoy:
  • Print
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • Google Bookmarks
  • email
  • Reddit
  • StumbleUpon
  • Technorati
  • Twitter

Gremlin Catcher

Posted under Dirty Little Secrets, Lists of things, Witterings

6 Comments »

Gremlins! Oh no, I think theyve spotted me?

Gremlins! Oh no, I 'think' they've spotted me?

A week or so ago I spotted a little ‘nugget’ on The Fragrant Muse’s blog, where she’d jotted down a few of her ‘gremlins’ with a view to banishing them, or at least giving them a glancing blow, by putting them down in writing.  I admired her honesty for sharing and started musing on whether I have any gremlins and if so what to do about them? Treat them like a pet, or vermin? Feed them or swot them? So I took her gremlin catcher openers:

I do not have enough…
I will never…
I am too…
I should…
If only I…
I ought to…
I must…

and then completed the sentence to identify any gremlin presence Chez Spud. I did it fast as I thought that was the best way of luring those little critters in to my trap. Stealth is my friend.

And this is what I got:

  • I do not have enough patience
  • I will never wear heels again
  • I am too chatty
  • I should sort out a roofer who will actually call me back/turn up
  • If only I had more local friends
  • I ought to sort out a redesign for my blog
  • I must book my ticket to Paris

I like this, a couple of meaty gremlins in there (lack of patience, lack of local buddies), couple of things that are lurking on my to do list which need urgent attention, couple of statements of fact which I am cool with. I’m sure it’s a good exercise to do every now and again, and that it’s interesting to compare the list against previous gremlin catching attempts.

Give it a go, share them gremlins if you feel like it. But if you catch some juicy ones, be sure to ZAP them.. the little ones can be returned to the wild…or tamed and kept as a pet.

A couple of semi tamed gremlins

A couple of 'semi' tamed gremlins

If you liked that, you might like this ...

Share and Enjoy:
  • Print
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • Google Bookmarks
  • email
  • Reddit
  • StumbleUpon
  • Technorati
  • Twitter

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly…or ‘A Tale of Three Cupboards’

Posted under Dirty Little Secrets, Things I hate, Witterings

11 Comments »

Every day I stack and unload my dishwasher 200 times. I ‘may’ be exaggerating, but it certainly feels like 200 times a day and it’s one of my Worst Jobs…right up there with putting clean duvet covers on. Mostly I don’t like it because of the sheer monotony, I feel like I’ve entered a little, domestic Sysiphus moment…always unloading clean dishes, only to find they are all dirty again a moment later. I hate that.

But, no, worse…the thing I really hate is that it involves going in to [sharp intake of breath] The Cupboard of Doom. I have to be feeling very cheery to be ready to tackle it, often I leave things waiting to be put away in TCOD on the work surface – ready for when I’m feeling stronger.

So I unload the dishes in a strict order, which is dictated by which cupboard items are stored in. Firstly, ‘the Good’:

The Good Cupboard

The 'Good' Cupboard

Mmmm, lovely…all white/cream and neat ‘n’ tidy. That’s good. That pleases me. Next, gathering some strength and inner resolve, I move on to ‘the Bad’:

The Bad Cupboard - very naughty

The 'Bad' Cupboard - very naughty

Ick. It doesn’t please me at all, all that plastic tat. But it’s a necessary evil with little children, a cupboard like that is a sign that you’re a ‘real’ mummy now. And check out that ubiquitous Ikea stuff, you know those weird plates that everything slips off and the knives that don’t cut.

Finally, with a heavy heart, I edge towards The Cupboard of Doom (AKA ‘the ugly’). This cupboard pains me, and it doesn’t matter how much I tidy it, put extra shelves in, put yet MORE stuff in storage…it always looks like this. Actually it’s looking quite tidy here, normally all that Tupperware is in a vast mountain and threatening topple any second.

The Cupboard of Doom...enter at your peril!

The Cupboard of Doom...enter at your peril!

I feel so cleansed sharing that dirty little secret…but surely I’m not alone …so tell me, ideally SHOW me, your Cupboards of Doom. And any tips for clearing up that mess. Or, better again, come round and tidy it up for me. See that vast teapot in the bottom right hand corner? Holds 12 cups of tea. You bring the cake.

I thank you.

If you liked that, you might like this ...

Share and Enjoy:
  • Print
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • Google Bookmarks
  • email
  • Reddit
  • StumbleUpon
  • Technorati
  • Twitter