Chez Spud

Posts Tagged ‘glasses’

Be a face not a number

Posted under Witterings

21 Comments »

People! Listen up….get a gravatar (Globally Recognised Avatar). Sign up for one here for free, gratis, for nothing. All you need to do is provide your email address, upload a photo of yourself and BINGO everywhere you go on the web and comment, say, that brilliant blog called Chez Spud, your photo will appear next to your comment.

Go on, be a sport. Look at the comments on my 12 of 12 post from yesterday. A list of ‘numbers’ commenting, with occasional bright spots of gravatars…yay for Sara, huzzah for Julochka and jubilations for that genius Spudballoo.

You’re not a just a number, you’re not just a name, you’re a person with a face so let’s see ‘em! I’ve shown you mine, so now you show me yours…for anyone not familiar with how I look, and I am notoriously shy about sharing images of myself of the internet (snort, snort, snigger)…here I am. Be afraid, be very afraid…

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Time, time, time…

Posted under Things I make, Witterings

16 Comments »

…see what’s become of me…(bonus points: name that song)

Time is slipping through my fingers. I can feel it speeding up and speeding away from me, laughing in the face of my ‘to do’, ‘to action’, ‘to buy’ and ‘to grudge’ lists.

The basics are sorted: children and MrSpud are relatively clean, happy and cared for, house is in a reasonable state, Mount Laundry is surprisingly under control, work/life balance in check, on top of admin and correspondence, Real Life and Interweb friendships on track, photography 365 project up to date.

So far so good, right? I should be feeling pretty chipper, don’t you think? Yes I agree, I should be marveling at my jiggly juggly skills and keeping focused on maintaining an even keel. Instead I am cooking up another project, another hobby. I know I shouldn’t, it will tip the balance but its eating away at me…sshhh…crafts are a-calling me. My inner quilter is screaming to be released, my felting tendencies will not go unheeded any longer, I long to Stitch & Bitch along with the rest of the planet, my vocabulary aches to embrace words like wadding, bobbin, interfacing, overlock, bias and dose-doh. ‘Might’ be off course with the last one, but go easy…I’m a beginner remember?

This is not new. Crafty bubblings have been burbling up in me for a while but have easily been quashed by the remembrance that I don’t own a sewing machine and can’t sew anyway. Finally, in a flash in insight last week, it came to me: I could BUY a sewing machine and LEARN to sew. Don’t you just love those eureka moments? And I wasn’t even in the bath, because I am ‘that’ brilliant.

Posts like this, and that (shades of Extranjera?) and pretty much everything here have naughtily awoken those long suppressed creative longings. Mostly because I want to make pretty things, partly because I want to dive in to the bloggy craft kleeeeek…it’s painful having to stand on the sidelines, pathetically favouriting and RSSing beautiful things people have made rather than having a crack at making them myself. So, enough…I am Spud…I have fingers….see me make unidentifiable ‘offerings’. Set Crafty Spud free and let her do her worst.

There is a tiny problem which is that, as well as not being able to sew/embroider/knit/crochet etc,  I have pretty much no creative skill and I lack patience. This has the makings of a disaster doesn’t it? I have previously dabbled with glass painting (not bad), cross stitch (hmm, OK) and tapestry (more shabby than chic, let’s leave it like that shall we).  I can’t draw and am not capable of originality, thus my ‘offerings’ will not be inspired by anything, they will be straight copies. I have no lofty thoughts of expressing myself through craft, I just want to bloody MAKE something.

I love RedVelvetArt’s art journaling class idea, and may start there on the basis that I have nice handwriting and am a Master Sticker (comes with the territory of having preschoolers). Possibly I have misunderstood the point of art journaling?  And I want to sew something. I will start with a Morsbag. But what I really want to do is make a quilt, it’s quite ambitious but there we are. It’s good to have a goal. Whilst looking at the art journaling stuff I found a quilt kit for beginners, perhaps that’s the way to go?  Or there is a quilting shop nearby, where they run classes. Should I give that a go? Although that involves mixing with RWP  (Real World People) of course, that’s the downside.

I was particularly peeved to read about The Make Lounge on Wee Birdy’s fabulous blog (which by the way everyone MUST read) because  (a) it looks so much fun (WINE! I CAN SEE WINE IN THOSE PHOTOS) (b) this is exactly what I need to do to learn ‘my craft’ and (c) that place is spitting distance from where we lived in London before moving to The Country earlier this year. Why, why, why couldn’t these crafty urges have urged more urgently last year? Am having my first teeny regret at living in Not London.  I could be there, I could fit in…I have quirky glasses…I drink wine…I have fingers…Instead I am stuck with Ye Local Stitch & Bitch, frequented by a bloke who is knitting a rat (I am not making this up, I have a spy in the camp).

So that’s my plan, how do you like it?  To be honest there is a little bit of me that is reticent as there just aren’t the hours in the day to do all this stuff and keep on top of ‘life’ too. Something will have to give and I don’t know what.  Possibly the hours I spend languishing on the sofa in the evening could be used more productively? MrSpud will vigorously nod his head when he reads that last sentence…

However, before I unleash my ‘offerings’ on an unsuspecting world there are two ongoing projects which I have promised myself that I will finish before getting crafty:

1. Finish sorting out my photo library. 5,000 to go.

2. Learn how to use Lightroom properly. The ‘wife‘ lent me a Lightroom book ages ago, and I’ve never even finished the first chapter since it became apparent I should sort/catalogue my photos before really getting in to the nitty gritty of using LR to process my shots.

I thought I’d chuck the rules I’ve imposed on myself in to this post to make me stick to it. But, you see, if only I had an art journal I could doodle about it there….and then stick stuff on it.

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Secret 24…I wish I didn’t have to wear glasses

Posted under 30 Secrets in 30 Days

13 Comments »

177 365 Secret 24...I wish I didn't have to wear glasses


As we all know, men don’t make passes at girls who wear glasses…which is why I spent most of my 20s squinting. As, in my crazy head, the vague, distracted, squinty, wrinkled up nose look is an absolute WINNER.

I just don’t like wearing specs, it’s a vanity thing. I hate the way they leave a mark on your nose, or hurt your ears, or slide down your nose, and that awful ‘steaming up’ thing and the way they got lost and broken every 5 minutes. I hate the whole process of buying glasses as I have my Dr Spock eyebrows and droopy eyelids to contend with, plus ‘that’ pointy nose etc etc. Mind you I think these googly specs are quite something, don’t you think? Although they do make me look like Mitzi from The Koala Brothers.

I..hate…specs…but the specs are having the last laugh as the legacy of all that squinting is a whole bunch of deep wrinkles. Shakes fist angrily at the gods – curses to you ye gods of spite.

I also hate contact lenses and, on the rare occasion that I wear them, I am always very unpleasantly surprised when I look at myself in the mirror, wondering who the hell that old hag is peering back at me. One of the few upsides of being a Speccy Twat is that, with glasses off, you see a fuzzier, less wrinkled, less eye baggied version of yourself in the mirror. It’s generally quite pleasing. With glasses on, many of the wrinkles/eye bags are hidden and it’s reasonably pleasing. But with lenses in, and specs off, the full horror is revealed.

The only other advantage to poor eyesight is the ability to ‘take the edge off’ the world, without engaging in any kind off illegal activity. Specs off, and the world is a little blurred all over, it’s not unpleasant…like living in an impressionist painting. Best of all, you can deploy the ‘specs off’ trick to lessen the impact of a shouty email or letter. You know those times when you bang off a feisty email, telling someone how it is…you press send..you sit nervously awaiting their response…and when it arrives you can hardly bear to read their stinging response.

So, you pop your specs off, push your chair back from the desk and then just scan the email, just get the gist of it without causing yourself any unnecessary stress or emotional hurt by digging down in to the detail.Works every time. many a potential Grudge Book entrant has been saved by the ‘specs off’ trick – I’m sure of it.

No secrets this weekend, sorry folks! We are away, I will schedule a few bits but these secrets take more time and energy than I have today. Back Monday for more revelations….

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