Photo A Day – Insanity Becomes Him
Posted under People I love
Sunset and MrSpud…he’s a funny little thing. xx
Posts Tagged ‘MrSpud’
Making a break for it
Posted under People I love
It’s taken 5 years and 8 months…and 3 aborted attempts…but me and MrSpud finally got away for a WHOLE 24 hours without our children this weekend. First attempt was thwarted by my aunt having a stroke and I had to dash up north to sort things out for her. Second attempt thwarted by snow. Third attempt thwarted by a vomiting bug. Fourth attempt was attempted very, very half heartedly to be honest but (despite a disturbed night with Diggy which threatened a Fourth Thwart) we made it.
And..oh…the..JOY! It was only 24 hours but it was just the ticket. We don’t even go out much together, and long hours and a long commute mean we really don’t spend much time together at all. Cry. We’ll have been together 10 years later this year, 5 years 8 months of those have involved children. It’s a long time not to really ‘be’ together.
“So, how’ve you been?”, I asked my husband of getting of for 7 years over lunch. “Yes, good thanks. Had a couple of kids, been pretty busy”, he replied. We agreed, kindly, that we’ve both aged a bit but that it’s been worth it. We hardly talked about the boys, though we talked about topics around the boys and parenting. I didn’t miss them, though I thought about them a bit. MrSpud missed them. But I spent EVERY minute of their non-school/nursery time with them and MrSpud has precious few hours with them.
MrSpud…carrier of heavy camera bags and {scream} bumbags/fanny packs. Oh lord.
We didn’t do a whole lot. We pottered around Stamford, a stupidly beautiful town, and had lunch.
Here I am, looking cross and very awkward in front of the camera as usual.
MrSpud, looking a bit windswept and, oh look, carrying The Camera Bag again.
Then we pootled back to our hotel
And I gave myself up to the charms of an Indian Head Massage, a much appreciated gift from my mother-in-law. The woman is a SAINT! Not only did she look after the Megaboys for the weekend, she sorted out our hotel and booked me a head massage. I’m so lucky. Though I did ‘slightly’ query whether a relaxing massage is supposed to include earlobe pulling and being repeatedly beaten around the head? Let’s move on.
Dinner, a full night’s sleep with NO CHILDREN in the bed, a swim in the spa and it was time to give up the hotel gorgeousness. We went to Uppingham for lunch and marvelled at how public schoolboys look *exactly* the same as they did in 1989 when we were at school. Then, all too soon, it was time to make our way back to collect the boys….stopping off at Eyebrook Resevoir for a blustery photoshoot.
Rather different than the last time we were here, on Christmas Day last year
And then it was done. Our first 24 hours together, no children, in many many years. I loved it. I loved talking about everything and nothing, no eye on the clock or being driven by what the boys need or want. I don’t think we’ve spent more than a very, very occasional 3 or 4 hours together and alone since Bertie was born. We love our family life and haven’t really ‘craved’ time alone because we adore our boys so, so much and the life we have together. But it was good to get away and remember how we got to be where we are today.
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Without the internet…
Posted under Things I love
- I wouldn’t have met MrSpud. Thank you internet dating and the cringemakingly named www.woohoo.com
- I wouldn’t have met my best friend
- I wouldn’t have had the best EVER support network during pregnancy, birth, the baby days and beyond. The PP ladies…you know who you are xx
- I wouldn’t have got back in touch with so many friends from childhood, schooldays, uni days and beyond
- I wouldn’t have patched up a dear friendship recently, trashed many years ago but now alive and well
- I wouldn’t be in touch with so many of my mother’s former pupils to reminisce about the old days and hear their memories of her (thank you Facebook)
- I wouldn’t have landed a big account for a former employer (thank you LinkedIn)
- I wouldn’t have made so many brilliant new local friends (thank you Twitter)
- I wouldn’t have hooked up someone looking for a job with someone looking for an employee (thank you Twitter again)
- I wouldn’t have got in to photography (thank you Flickr)
- I wouldn’t have read blogs, started a blog and met so many fascinating people
- I wouldn’t have laughed so hard I spat tea at my screen (thanks to all the funny and witty people out there)
- I wouldn’t have written a book
- I wouldn’t be nearly so well informed as I am. The jury is out as to whether that’s a good thing or not.
- I wouldn’t be nearly so time starved
- I would be a lot more lonely
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The Gallery…’Love’
Posted under The Gallery
Love? MrSpud…without whom there is nothing xxx
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Hermy’s latest masterstroke
Posted under People I love, Witterings
My latest crush, EU President Herman Van Rompuy, continues to dazzle me with his general wonderfulness. Already he’s on my ‘freebie’ list (laminated) due to his passion for blogging and haiku writing. He’s a man in touch with his sensitive side and, for this alone, we can overlook the fact that he looks a leeeetle bit like Kermit the Frog.
Hardly able to contain their horror, the BBC sneeringly reported this week that Hermy has moved the venue for the forthcoming EU summit meeting to an old Belgian library, eschewing the purpose built vast hanger type building they usually use for such affairs. It’s a brilliant move. The library is small, so only the leaders will be able to sit in the main part of the building for the meeting. Space is so short that each leader will only be allowed one adviser/nose wiper and they will have to sit in an adjacent room. And the translators will have to sit in the gallery above the main library room. The leaders’ delegations and the media will have to stay in the big modern building down the road, there’s no room for them in the inn. Not even the BBC. Ha ha ha.
Hermy’s spokeperson Miss Piggy Leopold Park said the frog wants to create a “warm, intimate atmosphere. The aim is to have a brainstorming discussion, an open, frank debate about the economy, climate change and Haiti”.
The man is a genius! What better way to try to get a useful, productive debate going than by stripping away the formality of the previous summits, turfing out all the hangers on and forcing the leaders to sit together, very close, side-by-side, look each other in the eye and chew the cud. There will be no hiding place, no army of advisers/translators getting in the way of the business…just good old fashioned debate. Meanwhile the world’s media will be packed like cattle in to the hanger, frantically scribbling in their Grudge Books…
Whilst marveling at Hermy’s bold move I was reminded of someone I used to work for whose motto for assessing proposals during complex negotiations was, ‘Can I live with it?’. At the time I thought this was a cop out to be honest; surely the point of negotiation is to win as many points as possible, and not be budged from your position? But he was wiser than me and, given that we worked for a huge organisation where decision making was slow and ponderous, he really had the right idea. So, in practice, you would consider the other side’s position or request…it might not match your own desire but you would ask youself, ‘but can I live with it?’, and if the answer was ‘yes’ then concede the point and move on. Adopting this approach not only kept negotiations trotting along at a reasonable pace, it also meant you gained some good will…ready to be traded in when you hit a ‘No, I really can’t live with that’ moment. Win win, all round.
I don’t often get involved in high level negotiations these days but, of course, life is one big negotiation isn’t it? So, I’m proposing to bring back the ‘can I life with it?’ motto as I think it could be a really powerful stress buster….’The Megaboys are wearing stripes and tartan together, again. Can I live with it? Well, I don’t like how it looks but they are warm and clean so, yes, I can live with it’…’My house isn’t as tidy as I’d like, but the boys want to do a puzzle with me, so can I live with the mess? Yes, I can live with it’…’MrSpud wants to watch Timeteam for the millionth time. Can I live with it? No I bloody well can’t, give me the remote immediately you funny little man’ And so on.
How can I get in touch with Hermy to introduce him to the power of the ‘Can I live with it?’ negotiation tool because I’m certain a summit meeting of EU leaders is exactly the kind of place it could work its magic? If everyone present was prepared to concede on points they could live with, and only really do battle for the important stuff I’m confident the meeting would be as productive as Hermy is hoping for. The library is an excellent start, but he needs a little icing on the cake.
Should I drop him a memo? In the form of a haiku? 17 syllables (5-7-5)
Can I live with it?
The leaders should ask themselves
If yes, please move on.
Hmm, I’m not sure. It’s lacking a little ‘punch’ (and a few hundred syllables). I might have to quickly learn Flemish and post a comment on his blog.
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Weston-super-Mare
Posted under Photography, Witterings
Town of my noble birth…ah, blessed art thou Weston-super Mare…let’s overlook the fact that Jeffrey Archer is thou Lord…and the fact that the sea is NEVER in and you have to walk a mile for a paddle…and the fact that your nickname of Weston-super-Mud is so well deserved…anyway, thou art blessed amongst faded English seaside towns and we heart you.
I’m visiting my Dad and his wife as part of our Christmas round robin trip. Today we braved the cold for a run around the beach. Brrrrrrrr….
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Winter Wonderland
Posted under People I love
Hoorah. It snowed for real and the country came to a standstill as usual. MrSpud stayed home and we didn’t budge from the farm all day. Instead, we sledged. We staked out our run:
We sledged solo
There was quite a lot of trudging back up the hill of course
We worked in pairs (not shown…me and MrSpud sledging a deux…didn’t trust the boys with the camera, funny that)
And then some showoffs worked as a trio
Didn’t end too well though…
And then it got REALLY silly. One of our number decided to indulge in Extreme Sledging whilst videoing himself in the process. Alas I am married to this person. He’s 38 by the way. Not 8. I just thought I’d point that out…
Ah MrSpud. It’s lucky you are so devastatingly good looking (although would you GET a haircut?) and charming and wonderful and such a good father and funny and supportive and don’t bother arguing with me too much because it isn’t worth the hassle. Otherwise I would sneer and deride you as an utter neerdy geek. Oh..wait…
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Five
Posted under People I love
Unlocks Chez Spud, checks all is well, nothing has been taken, all Secrets safe and sound…? Good, well then let’s continue…
Chez Spud is open for business again. Thank you to everyone who emailed and/or commented, you’re all so thoughtful and it meant such a lot to me. My father-in-law’s funeral is over now and it was wonderful and awful in equal measure. It was a true reflection of the man he was, and how well he was loved by family, friends and colleagues. But now the awful business of grieving will truly swing in to action, and there are dark days ahead for sure. I hadn’t prepared myself for Bertie (4) being so desperately upset, sobbing in fact, in the funeral. I knew he’d ask questions, and be curious but the inconsolable tears were a shock to me. Its the first time, as a parent, that I’ve been able to do nothing to alleviate his pain and suffering and it was like a slap around the face. “I didn’t want him to die, I want him to be alive again” he howled. What to say, other than, “I do too, and I wish I could make it happen but I can’t”.
Just to throw an additional spanner in the works Bertie has been very ill for the last few days, starting on the day of the funeral…so we’ve juggled a very poorly child, a very bouncy happy child, a long journey, 2 absolutely dreadful, sleepness nights (one in a hotel), the funeral and vomiting. Lovely.
Would someone please, please, PLEASE give us a fecking break now? Thanks.
So, FIVE! As well as the funeral on Friday (plus assorted ill/bouncy children) it was me and MrSpud’s 5th wedding anniversary. What better way to celebrate one’s anniversary than burying one’s father-in-law….cry, cry, cry. It’s wasn’t the day for joy, but I did take a moment to take stock, give thanks and marvel at how five short years can meld two families in to one, and produce the next generation, in what feels like the blink of an eye.
Pictured above: MrSpud lying on the bed in the hotel after his father’s funeral reading to our boys, hoping we might get some sleep (wrong!). And no doubt mindful of the years his lovely Dad read to him as he went to bed and, like all of us, wishing it all could be different.
Five years of marriage…two Old Spuds…two Baby Spuds…one love now and forever etc etc xxx
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The Fabric of Life
Posted under People I love, Witterings
My lovely sister-in-law is goodly making a photo album for our parents-in-law (MrSpud’s parents) for Christmas. She’s collecting photos from the weddings of all three of their children, so kind of her. I’m so glad I’m not in charge since I’ve failed to put even our own wedding photos in an album, even though we got married nearly 5 years ago. Ooops. Must have slipped off that damn To Do list…
So I’ve been going through our wedding photos over the last few days, picking out the few that don’t make MrSpud look monstrously fat (he overate out of stress and then refused to diet to look good for the photos…he regrets it now…frankly, we all do). But once I’d stopped weeping at his royal bloatyness, I was struck by how many of the people at our wedding are no longer part of our lives. Two have died, at least 3 couples have split up and a surprising large number of people have quietly just slid out of our lives for various reasons. Mostly, geography has got in the way, some just sneaked off without us noticing, some were actively ‘sacked’ for cruel and unusual selfishness. GOOD RIDDANCE.
Surely wedding photos must be the most accurate ‘snapshot’ of what I call the ‘fabric’ of your life that you ever get? The one big occasion when you invite everyone who is important to you to be with you, and then you photograph them. So it’s interesting that, for us, only 5 years later that ‘snapshot’ is so wildly out of date. If we were to get married right now the snapshot would be so very different. And MrSpud would be a whole lot slimmer (thank the Lord), but I’d be fatter (boo hiss). But we’d invite a completely different crowd.
Isn’t it interesting how the sands of your life shift like that…slowly, oh so slowly and without you really clocking it? These people who are the very fabric of your life, who support you, laugh with you, love you, cry with you…they move in, move on and move out. We all do it…mostly without meaning to…in and out we go. Mostly it’s a very subtle shift, with only the occasional dramatic exit.
I’d love to be able to map it, and track it. These little shifts and changes that alter the path and pattern of your life. I notice it most often at Christmas, when I come to write our cards. And realise another year has passed without seeing xyz, and pondering when you make the cut and take them off the list. And then you add the new, shiny people in.
In and out they go…some constant, some new, some old, some are forever….whoever they are, however long they stick around, they are part of the complex web of relationships and connections that underpin our lives and weave the history of our lives. What a quilt they would make…I read an article somewhere recently about someone who takes a polaroid photo of every person who comes in to her home, and then displays the photos in her hall. That’s a wonderful, evolving representation of what I’m wiffling on about. But what I want is a map of the subtle changes and shifts….too much to ask? So that when I look back at my life and try to make sense of it, I can see all the people who made it what it is…even if I have to wonder where the hell some of them went?
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Completeness
Posted under People I love
My little world, seen through a glass, darkly. Or, more accurately, reflected in a garden ornament…me in regulation green wellies, Bertie with his handbag, MrSpud displaying freakish jazz hands, Klingon Baby Diggy in a sling, one little fat leg poking out…our house…our garden…pig food lurking in the background.
My husband, my sons, my home, my life. 1, 2, 3, 4…that’s me counting my blessings x
