Chez Spud

Posts Tagged ‘Parker’

Photo A Day: Escapologist

Posted under Cats

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276 365 Escapologist

Presenting Garfield, our neigbours’ cat. They moved in to their new home (and, in fact, our old home) in February. Mr Garfield escaped from the house within 24 hours but was spotted in our garden within a few days. We heard him breaking in to our kitchen one night looking for food, and managed to catch him the next. The neighbour was summoned and piled a big lump of ginger moggy in to the cat box and set off for home. Garfield smashed his way out of the box within a few minutes and legged it down the road and away.

A few weeks later we spotted him in another part of our garden. A cat trap was set and, success, Mr Garfield was caught and duly returned home again. He escaped 24 hours later.

And since then we’ve occasionally ‘sensed’ him about the place, with our cats growling and marking their territory. Recently we’ve started to see him during the early evening, sometimes close to the house but more recently right at the bottom of the garden…scurrying with haste in to the wooded part of the garden. We’ve started to leave him some food and water in his favourite corner of the garden, and here he is…captured by our trail camera.

He looks well, thinner than the last time I got a good look at him back in February but clearly he’s a good hunter. But not so good that he turns his nose up at cat biscuits. He comes at 7pm ish and finishes a bowl, and then comes back again around 1am to check for more. Cheeky.

Garfield…the escapologist and the newest member of our family. He’s gone feral but while he’s around our garden we will feed him because we’re soft. Cats do that to a person.

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Comedy Cat

Posted under Cats

10 Comments »

football

Seriously, we have the World’s Best Cat. I’ve already talked about his Doglike tendencies before and yet it just gets better…

It started as just a regular back yard kick about…Boy…Father…and Cat…

football-2

Cat was clearly feeling like he was a bit ‘too’ close to the action at this point and he wandered off. The game continued…

football-3

Smartie pants…

football-6

Not sure that’s a FIFA approved tactic but we’ll overlook that…

football-7

1-0 to Bert

football-8

I’m not absolutely sure who was enjoying it most by this point…

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Oh hello…pitch invasion by small shouty curly person…and, not seen, small furry feline person…

Dog Cat
WHAT A SAVE!! Let’s take a closer look shall we, action replay if you like…

I love the look of total awe on Diggy’s face…wow…look at that Dog Cat go! If only he’d stop killing stuff and dragging it in he’d be the perfect pet. Oh, and I wouldn’t mind it if he stopped drinking out of the toilet bowl either. Boak.

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Dog Cat

Posted under Cats

6 Comments »

110 365 Dog Cat

Parker, the Dog Cat. Wherever you go…he goes. If we’re out in the garden, he’s out in the garden. If you walk down to the bottom of the garden, so does he. If you go for a walk down the fields, he’ll often come too. Who needs a dog when you’ve got a dog cat?

Recently he’s taken to needing to be physically on one of us at all times. He tries to claw his way up our legs in to our arms and, if he makes it, he refuses to be put down. If you bend over, he’ll leap up and lie on your back.

I lay down on my back on the grass to take a photo of our wisteria, as you do. Parker saw his opportunity and moved in for a cuddle. Here he is, perched on my chest pinning me to the ground. I put my camera over my shoulder, pointed and released the shutter and this is what I got. Not bad for a totally blind shot.

It was another 10 minutes before I could finally push him off. It’s a love thing.

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18 365 Somewhere out there…

Posted under Photo A Day 2011

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18 365 Somewhere out there...

…are mice and shrews and voles and birds and bats and bunnies and weasels and other scurrying crittures and I want to go out there and chase them and catch them and bring them inside as a love gift for you.

…instead I am shut in this house, drowning in the Sea of Green Carpet, blinded by the Sunshine Yellow Curtains. I have been inside for 2 weeks now. When are you going to let me out? I am bored. Did you not notice my protest vomit on the Sea of Green Carpet today? You don’t have to be the sharpest pencil in the box to work out my coded message…LET…ME…OUT!

..somewhere out there…I am watching…I am waiting…I am biding my time…I will have my revenge…

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Feline woes

Posted under Witterings

11 Comments »

I am really going off Parker. I’ve moaned before about his killing tendencies but he’s really stepped up his campaign of terror in recent days. We found a trail of bird feathers and poo (nice) around the house when we got back from our Christmas trip a few days ago. No amount of hunting revealed a carcass anywhere so, with little conviction if truth be told, we assumed Parker had kindly slung his prey outside again once he was done with it. Oh…how…wrong…

This morning I put my foot in to my wellington boot and was very puzzled by the obstacle at the bottom…kind of round and soft and OH MY GOD FEATHERY.  MrSpud was immediately summoned as he is In Charge of horrible things. Alas he confirmed the worst. There was a dead bird in my boot, and a mountain of the poor creature’s poo too.

It’s hard to know what to be more upset about. Dead creatures in my boots, the foot to dead creature contact or the folly that led me to believe buying expensive leather lined (and thus really hard to clean) wellies was a good idea.

I’m sure I heard that damn cat laughing at me, Mutley style as I attempted not to simultaneously scream and vomit. I’m considering getting a dog out of spite. That’ll learn him.

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Something is rotten in the state of Denmark

Posted under People I love, Witterings

19 Comments »

This is my 100th blog post, yay me! I started blogging on  6 June 2009. Two months and a little bit, 16,445 views and 100 posts later and I’m still here, driveling on. Does a little dance, then stops. Doing little dances in the virtual world where anyone could be looking just isn’t right…behave, you’re a grown woman with responsibilities ‘n’ everyfink.

Probably this should be something really insightful and reflective. But it’s just going to be a load of shambolic wittering again, sorry about that. It’s just the way it goes around here, OK?

Today was a day of ‘fixing’ stuff!

Fix 1: I stuffed Parker (pictured above) in to a box and took him to the vet to have his annual innoculations. Fix 1 – my cat.

Fix 2: I zipped to  yoga and bent and inverted myself in unimaginable ways. Thankfully no one passed wind this week. Not even me…Fix 2: my inner peace.

Fix 3: I sped off to the osteopath, having admitted defeat to the terrible lower back pain that has plagued me off and on for years. ‘What’s the matter with your neck?’ was her opening gambit. Turns out the lower back pain has been diverting my attention from the fact that my neck is totally frozen. Doh. Anyway, it also turns out my pelvis is twisted – most likely as a result of childbirth nearly 4 years ago. Fix 3: my broken back.

Fix 4: Exhausted by physically assertive osteo, I limped off to the garage to get the VERY wobbly wheels on the car sorted. They needed balancing, and were in a terrible state. Fix 4: my dangerously wobbly wheels.

Quite a productive day, I think you’ll agree? Other tasks achieved (apart from the usual eating, breathing, looking after small boys, fake laughing at MrSpud’s ‘jokes’ etc)  included making 6 pathetic looking gifts for Blog Camp 1.5 this weekend and a trip to the fancy wine store to buy enough wine to drunk them so they don’t notice my embarrasing ‘offerings’.

But here’s where it gets interesting, yes, gather round…let’s look at the cost of today’s ‘fixes’ (no, not ‘those’ sort of fixes). In reverse order:

Fix 4: My dangerously wobbly wheels – £18.80

Fix 3: My inner peace – c£20.00 (hard to work out, part of excessively expensive and horribly underused family gym membership)

Fix 3: My broken back – £32.00

Fix 4: My cat – £78.00

There is somethng chronically wrong with the above list. The fix that could potentially be very dangerous (wobbly wheels) was the cheapest, whilst my cat ‘fix’ was astonishingly expensive…eye wateringly so in fact. Thank God our other cat is a total recluse and can’t be handled. Sheesh, if she was ‘normal’ our vet bill for innoculations/flea/worming stuff would be about £150 ($250). Scream.

But it’s a far cry from a few years back when MrSpud and I shelled out £2,000 ($3,300) on an operation for a previous cat. That was our entire holiday budget for that year, so we stayed home. The cat died 6 weeks later. Hmmm. But actually I never resented a penny of that money and nor did MrSpud. We didn’t have children in those days and our cats were our ‘babies’. Nothing was too good for our cats, and especially not for Basil.

Basil (RIP) had been my Mum’s cat and I inherited him when she died. He was a huge character of a cat, shrugging off the many challenges life threw at him including being shot with an air rifle between the eyes. Alas cancer got him in the end, despite the £2,000 operation to tackle the tumour. Me and MrSpud grieved and sobbed and howled for that cat, and I don’t think any cat will ever measure up to him. He was big, black and ugly…my Mum and Dad got him from the Cats Protection League. When they went to choose him my Mum was instantly drawn to him but the man showing them round said, ‘Oh don’t bother about him, he’s as ugly as sin and throws his food around, no-one ever wants him’. And that was it, my mother was smitten.

Parker is Basil’s ‘replacement’. It was a big pair of boots to fill, but he’s done it quite well. He wasn’t the lap cat I wanted, and his passion for hunting birds/voles/mice is very unwelcome. But in the main he’s cool and we all love him.

But £78.00 for a couple of jabs and tablets? Compared with £18.80 for a safe car? Something is rotten in the state of Denmark…

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Killer Cat

Posted under Witterings

6 Comments »

I’m beginning to hate one of our cats, Parker. He’s always been a delight, friendly, full of character, a bit quirky, so tolerant of the boys and very handsome to look at. He has amazingly long whiskers and, as a result, MrSpud calls him our ‘wizarding cat’. Truly they are a MAGNIFICENT set of whiskers! He’s quite stupid and can’t balance too well, thus ensuring many comedy moments as we watch him tumble off the fence/sofa/chair yet again. And likes to drink water from our glasses, the birdbath, the paddling pool etc rather than his water bowl. So far, so lovely.

Parker - with killing on his mind

Parker - with killing on his mind

We moved to the country from London at the start of the year. Until then he’d been an utter wuss, never leaving the confines of our small city garden. To be honest, I’d assumed he’d hardly leave the garden once we moved here. Wrong. He’s like a cat possessed! He’s out nearly all day, in the garden, down the fields, up the fields, across the courtyard. He has become an adventuring cat. Alas he’s become a killing cat too.

Parker - thinking about sleep

Parker - thinking about sleep

Mice, voles, birds….alive, dead, partly dead, flapping…regardless he brings them in. MrSpud has become adept at creating ‘runs’ for the live ones to make a dash for the great outdoors. Slightly stunned ones are captured in Tupperware boxes and dispatched outside – the ones which aren’t going to make it are ‘done for’ with a cricket bat. Sob. Flappy birds are horrendous. Once he brought in a newborn baby vole, so new it was translucent.  Very, very upsetting.

Parker -without killing on his mind

Parker - without killing on his mind for a change

This week Parker stepped up his campaign of horror by sneaking in with a vole without me knowing. The first thing I knew was the sound of a tambourine from the play room. Most odd as I was alone in the house. He’d dropped it in the toy box, poor thing was running around and tapping out a jig. So outside with the toybox, and out with the Dettol yet again to clean the toys.

Parker - thinking about the lack of dusting that goes on around here

Parker - thinking about the lack of dusting that goes on around here

How can I stop this? I know it’s his instinct but it’s awful , and it’s almost daily. Worst time is the morning so I’ve taken to blocking the cat flap. He had a collar with a bell for a while, but it didn’t make any difference. Every time I hear the cat flap ‘bang’ my heart sinks, as I’m convinced Dr Death has popped back in with his latest offering.

He’s so stupid that when he gets a live one he has NO idea what to do with it – he doesn’t kill it, he just looks at it. What can I do? Boot camp for cat killers? I’ve become so cross with him that I encourage the neighbour’s dogs in to the garden to give him a fright, just to give him a taste of his own medicine.

Rare shot of our other cat who is desperately shy. And non killing…we might not be able to get near her, but at least she doesn’t kill stuff. Also my first, ever shot taken on manual!

Little Miss Shy - Phoebe

Little Miss Shy - Phoebe

So, any thoughts on cat killers? Help me please!

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